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Mom is in a private home (6 patient capacity) and they called and told me she had two instances of bloody stool. The second one was significant. She ended up in the ER and was discharged with a Protonix prescription. She took for 2 weeks and another stool sample was collected. No blood visually seen in stool.


Physician office called me this evening and told me it was positive for blood. They asked if I wanted to be referred to a GI specialist for a colonoscopy.


Mom has a benign brain tumor, moderate dementia, incontinent of urine only (she knows it and will ask for assistance to get to the bathroom), pacemaker, on several heart medications, blood thinner, a diuretic, and a few things for depression. She had mild dementia before catching Covid in January, suffered delirium in the hospital, and came out with significant short term memory loss and confusion.


Advanced directive indicates "no treatment for incurable or irreversible condition that would bring death within a relatively short period of time." She's a DNR but not on hospice.


Also she communicates quite well most of the time, but often drops out of the sentence because she can’t remember what she was saying. She’s ambulatory with a rollater, eats and drinks well. She also will become upset quite easily, cries a lot, and on several occasions she’s told me she wants to die. She never says this unless she’s really upset and is crying about something.


I will be asking her if she wants the procedure though I am very scared if she says yes. I have spent hours tonight pouring over some horror stories of going through delirium again, the prep beforehand not being successful and inconclusive test results because of it (resulting in emotional trauma).


If anyone has been through something like this, how did you handle it? Do you know of anyone who went through this at this age with dementia and it was worth it for them?

My mother was on Xarelto for a number of years which caused her several issues. She was put on it originally for afib and a blood clot in her leg, even though she was given an ivf umbrella filter! She was always covered in bruises and fell constantly (not due to Xarelto, but falls while on in Xarelto can cause internal bleeding). She started getting such horrific nose bleeds that she was taken to the ER to stop them. But they kept happening. She looked like she'd been stabbed with a butcher knife every time I arrived at the ER, it was awful. The doc was taking a photo of her clot one time, the size of a mandarin orange, to put up on the bulletin board! The doctor recommended she be taken off Xarelto for good. I agreed. She never got another nosebleed again. She had a mild stroke at some point afterward, but nothing major.....the woman lived with dementia till she was 95 and I prayed for God to take her SOONER than He did. Why prolong an elders life with dementia??? Mom was agitated more than she wasn't, always begging to see her mama and siblings who were all deceased.

I'd get your mother OFF Xarelto completely because it could be what's giving her bloody stools. Let her be, as is, until God calls HER home. Taking all these "cures" winds up causing more trouble than than anything, imo. I'm glad she decided against the colonoscopy. In case mom changes her mind back to wanting one, just tell her all the tests are within normal range and she's doing fine. As POA, it's our job to make decisions FOR THEM they're no longer capable of making.

If it's her time to pass soon, it's not your "fault"....she's lived a very long life already. Wishing you the best of luck with all of this.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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I would not do it, but I know my mom would agree to it she agrees to everything the doctors suggest because she has a huge fear of dieing. She is 88

So I'm not sure what I would do in your case. Maybe not tell her, you need to do what you feel is best

But I don't see any evasive test like that being a good thing to do.
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Sha1911 May 2, 2024
I don't want the test either but we still talk and she still likes to know what's going on with her. She does ask if everything is ok. She doesn't remember the answer most the time but she still asks.

We had a good talk today and she said she did not want the test. I am relieved.
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Dear God will this ridiculous ever stop? A colonoscopy for a 91 year old with dementia? Come on, really? If she had cancer would you treat it at this point? To what end so she declines further with her dementia and eventually loses the ability to walk, eat or drink?

Doctors don't care about quality of life only extending life.

If your mother is not competent to make a decision then the family has to decide what is right or wrong for their parent based on their current health issues and life expectancy and yes quality of life.

And yes your mother may very well say she wants to do the colonoscopy unfortunately if she is able to decide then it is what it is.

I know it feels like you are killing your mother if you don't do all the recommended tests and treatments, but you aren't.

Maybe it is the blood thinner as others have said below.
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Sha1911 May 2, 2024
No, we wouldn't treat for cancer but I'm certain her doctor would probably give us the option. I never liked the colonoscopy suggestion from the moment I heard it.

I'll be consulting with her cardiologist about the blood thinner. He has halved her dosage of Xarelto already and her blood work is excellent. She says she feels good and today she was in excellent spirits and quite lucid and talkative. She said absolutely not to the procedure.
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Perforations of the bowel happen MUCH MORE FREQUENTLY with older patients. In general a colonoscopy is no longer recommended for most more than 70 years old. Your mother will die of something. Whether it is a cancer or not would remain to be seen but she would be unlikely to be getting a surgery for that NOW at this advanced age. Let alone anesthesia, just too much to recover from.

I would not do anything. If I did it would be at most a scan or MRI. I would not do colonoscopy and cannot imagine it recommended. A perforared bowel is a very unpleasant way to go. FRANK blood, that is to say RED blood in stool is usually ALREADY a sign there is fragility in colon and a broken small vessel or hemorrhoid. She didn't need blood transfushion so this wasn't appreciable in amount. I would do nothing. Any OCCULT (hidden) blood would be dark, coffeeground in look, and indicate higher bleeding such as ulcer.

Leave well enough alone.
As a retired RN at 81 I am facing now my second cancer. I have had lumpectomy and refused radiation, refused chemo, refused immunotherapy (all of which would at this point be more devastating to my body and cardiovscular system than the cancer itself, which if it spreads will still allow me some time, some good drugs and a delivery via our California MAiD laws. My family and MD and medical team agree with my choices in this.

I would not do this. My advice would be not to do this.
By the way, delirium IS a threat with any cancer and surgery. But almost never with the mild drugs they use for a twilight sleep for colonoscopy. The real threat here is PERFORATION of the bowel.
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Sha1911 May 2, 2024
We're not going to do it.

I was pleased to find her in a great mood today, talkative, and lucid (though typical looping). She remembered her stool was being tested and asked if everything was okay. We had a good discussion about colonoscopy. She said absolutely not, if God wants me home, I'll go home.

Will she remember our discussion tomorrow? I don't know. But while we talked she was very present and in the moment and I got the answer I wanted.
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I would say its the blood thinner. Over time it can cause internal bleeding. Happened with my Dad and he was taken off so the blood would clot.

As said, colonoscopies should not be done after 75. The lining could be perforated and cause paretinitus. With Moms directive and all her health problems, I would not put her thru this. The prep is the worst part of it. I had to swallow 12 horse pills 2 separate times. No solid food for a day. At 91, I would not put her thru this. If there was cancer, would u put her thru chemo?
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Sha1911 May 2, 2024
We decided no on the colonoscopy.

She's on Xarelto. Has been for many years. Her bruising seemed to be getting worse and I talked to her cardiologist about it and he dropped her down from 20mg to 15. She was off it for 2 weeks during the Protonix treatment and now he has her at 10 but he doesn't know about the positive stool sample yet. He's my first phone call tomorrow morning.

Did your Dad do okay off the blood thinner? Has he been able to go the distance without them without too many issues? My Mom has A-fib and a pacemaker and gets edema in her lower legs so this is causing me some significant worry.
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Momma has been going through this. When she was 85 or 86 she was bleeding out. Couldn't tell me where it was coming from so I took her to the obgyn. She had a hysterectomy. Still had the problem after she recuperate. Took her to another doctor and she had her first colonoscopy. They found 18 polyps. Now at the age of 88 or so she ended up in er with low blood pressure, dizzy and passing out. Low iron. They did a upper gi. Passed for her age. Drs suspect her bleeding is coming from her lower gi. At that age they did not recommend a colonoscopy. So every three months momma goes to the blood Dr for them to check her blood and iron. If she needs a transfusion they fill her back up. It is kind of a band aid but at her age we didn't want to put her through a colonoscopy and if it is cancer when can you do at this point? She will be 90 on May 13th.
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Sha1911 May 2, 2024
Thank you! This is very helpful to hear your experience. My Mom already has bloodwork done routinely and I cannot believe how great her results come back every time.

I would much rather make the trip for a blood draw every three months than put her through a colonoscopy. She will not be getting one we decided today.
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I think work backwards here.
What would be the most likely causes? Bowel polyps, GI bleed, anal fissure or stomach ulcer?

Are there alternative ways to diagnosis/rule things out? Blood tests, xray, CT, MRI? Things to try before a colonoscopy?

Despite being a very short procedure, it is invasive, the prep is awful & anesthetic is needed (although minimial).

My last experience with a LO inc;
+ the preparation caused urgency = rushing to the bathroom = increased falls risk
+ added to fatigue
+ delerium afterwards (luckily very mild) = increased falls risk

It's a very good question to ask.
Weigh it all up.
Benefits vs Burden
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Sha1911 May 2, 2024
I did talk to her today about the prep. She said she did not want to go through it and definitely did not want to be sedated in the hospital. I'm sure I would've talked her out of it if she agreed to the procedure but it was much better to talk it out with her today.

My Mom had very bad delirium in the hospital. The chance of watching her suffer through that again is too much to think about.
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Colonoscopies are not recommended for people over 75-80. What would be the end goal? Would you agree to surgery if they found a problem? And you’re absolutely correct about the prep. Doesn’t sound like she’d understand that at all. My mother is 91 and I would not, under any circumstance, have her go through that. Just my opinion..
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