Follow
Share

My dad’s been staying at my house on and off for the last six months. Recently, he called an ambulance he was taken into hospital. They asked me who I was, I said I was his daughter and they put me down as his next of kin (I was the only person there with him). My dad’s partner goes up there the next day and is trying to override anything I say. I don’t know legally where I stand since they never married and don’t have a POA or anything similar in place.

The following States recognize Common Law marriage. Take note that a few only recognize it before a certain date.

Colorado, District of Columbia, Alabama, Montana, Iowa, Kansas, New Hampshire, Pennsylvania (if it was entered before 9/2003), South Carolina, Utah, Rhode Island, Texas, Ohio (if entered before 10/1991), Idaho (if it was entered before 1996), Georgia (if entered before 1997), and Oklahoma.

" a marriage that results from the parties' agreement to consider themselves married and subsequent cohabitation, rather than through a statutorily defined process."

From what I read, States do vary on laws. Some States are really strict. The seven year thing is a fallacy.

And actually a wife or husband are not kin. There is no blood relationship. Unless, you have married a cousin.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

It's a legal question. Depends on your state laws about common law marriage, are you sure you know of any legal agreement between them? If you feel best able to make decisions, tell her you will continue to do so unless she has a legal basis for her claim. I would usually say if she wants to take care of him, you might consider letting her. Don't know their arrangement or yours.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Moxies
Report

Well, time to get this straight for certain.
If your father is able mentally he can STILL do a POA even though he has some dementia. And this should be done OR you may need now to get a guardianship.

You say your father is staying at your house "off and on". Can you tell us what that means?
How often in any given month does Dad stay with you?
Why does he come to stay? His choice and wishes? Or for care and watching?
Who is his primary caregiver? You? His partner? That is crucial.
Is his partner on any wills, deeds, etc? Is he living in her home or is she living in his?

All of these questions are important as are the rules of the state in which you live.
To my mind, with your having posted this under dementia, and some modicum of dementia present I would suppose, it is now late in the game but CRUCIAL to get this worked out.

I have chosen not to be married to my current partner tho we are now together over 35 years. We do have a domestic partnership which in my state of California says it all. We also have very clear trusts and documents, clear springing POA done, and etc. All documents are in place for our dwelling and for the eventuality we may become incapacitated or die.
I am sorry for the partner of your dad that he and she did not do this.
And I am sorry for you, because your place is currently not clear to medical personnel.

It is time now to see an elder law attorney. You need to KNOW. This needs to be made legally clear however you can make it legally clear. And if not guardianship here, SOMEONE needs POA if it can be given. SOMEONE needs to be ready to make decisions.

See an attorney ASAP.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to AlvaDeer
Report

You are next of Kin, his partner is not legally married to him. But, if Dad says he wants her to make decisions for him, that overrides you being next of kin. I suggest when Dad gets out of the hospital you talk to him about getting a POA for financial and medical. It does not matter who he assigns but he needs to have something in place if he wants his partner to make decisions for him. He can put partner on his HIPPA form and you too.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Very few states recognize "common law marriage", no matter how long a couple has been together. So, you are most likely the legal next of kin but I would check with your state's laws.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Geaton777
Report

Sounds like the woman who was living with my deceased father in law. She wanted to be in charge but she didn’t want to marry him so she could keep all of her money to leave to her kids. She said that he could pay for everything.

She wore her wedding rings from her previous marriage and did the same thing as your father’s companion is doing. He wore his wedding ring too. They told others that they were married.

It’s kind of strange to me but maybe they felt like they were married, just without it being legal.

You are there to be with your dad. You have a right to be there and oversee his care unless he didn’t want you to be there. You haven’t told us that he objected to you being there.

Why is she insinuating that you are not going to care about how she feels?
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
Report

Blood is thicker than water they say... Hopefully someone with actual law knowledge can reply. It may depend where you live. USA?

In Australia next of kin is defined as;
"The senior next of kin is usually the person's spouse or domestic partner. If not available, then the senior next of kin will be (in order): an adult son or daughter". 

So adult son or daughter before a partner if not living together.

Medicos ask for NOK, especially in an emergency or critical health event so they know who to call. Sometimes the senior NOK is not available (lives too far or not suitable - is ill themselves).

If can be hard indeed if problems arise.

Who does Dad want to be called first? Is he in a state to understand & communicate this?
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Beatty
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter