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😉 a cheerful thought:

We're all going to die, and aside from the extremely rare chance that you'll do anything notable enough in your life, you will inevitably be forgotten, as life, the world, the universe, and everything is just a series of processes.
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🙂 You are a background character in a much more interesting person's story.
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A man arrives in heaven. He must fill out a review.

Evaluate your stay on Earth:
Would you recommend it to a friend?
Yes/No?
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Don't sweat the small stuff.
Lump it together with the big and medium things and have a major breakdown instead.
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I got kicked out of hospital.
Apparently the sign "stroke patients here" meant something completely different.
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Always check the height of nearby ceiling fans before giving a toddler a ride on your shoulders.

How I learned this rule is not important.
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People who can finish a shampoo bottle at the same time as their conditioner are truly gifted.
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🙂 I need a new friend.
The last one escaped.
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I tried donating blood today...NEVER AGAIN!!!
Too many stupid questions. Whose blood is it?
Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket?
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I have a mind full of useless information
and I'm not afraid to use it.
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--Spirit of contradiction, are you there?
--No.
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Joy, I love your definition for soulmate!!
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Lord I’m not asking you for my soulmate…I’m just asking you for the Tracking #.
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Soulmate (noun)

Someone who does same weird things you do.
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BOJ, I left a tap running all last night by mistake, drained the rainwater tank. I've just sent DH (down on the farm) the one about "To err is human, but to blame someone else for it shows management potential". There's no-one else to blame unfortunately, but it might soothe the wound.
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🙂 I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
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🙂 99% sure my soulmate is a dog.
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No time to argue
I'm hungry.
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🙂 To err is human,
but to blame someone else for it shows management potential.
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🙂 It's not you,
it's someone else better than you.
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🙂 I don't hate you, I despise you...
There is a difference.
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One minute your young and carefree......

The next your looking out the window and saying, omg is that a red breasted grosbeak!
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🙂 When you decide to have a cheat meal and all of a sudden it's 3 years later...
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I may act like I'm OK but deep down inside
I'm hungry again.
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🙂 We’d be a normal couple if it weren’t for you.
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I finally got it all together.

But I forgot where I put it.
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I’m going to have a quiet night in and think about everything I’ve done wrong in the past 16 years.
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BOJ: My “great aunt” (close friend of my grandmother) WAS married 4 times and told that story, with drama and a straight face, only they ate tainted tuna and the 4th died of a blow to the head. I was certain she and I shared DNA. What a character she was!
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Women have a number of faults. Men have only two – everything they say and everything they do.
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A lady announces to her friend that she is getting married for the 4th time.

"How wonderful! What happened to your 1st husband?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms & died."

"How tragic! What about your 2nd?"

"He ate poisonous mushrooms & died."

"Terrible! I'm almost afraid to ask you about your third 3rd."

"He died of a broken neck."

"A broken neck?"

"He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
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