Dad has end stage chf. It’s getting worse now. He’s feeling more tired and his shortness of breath is getting more severe. Took him to hospital and they sent him home to hospice (his ef is 10%).. three years ago he was in hospice (ef was 10-15%).. but he got better and they discharged him after a year. It’s getting to a point where he’s taking morphine to feel relief..he didn’t have to 3 years ago. .. I know morpihine doesn’t hasten death, but when it resorted to that it’s never good. I feel useless not being able to do anything except offering drugs. All I can do is push medicine to him. I used to take care of all his medical problems and now I just can’t do anything except drugging him up and waiting til his heart gives out.
Very good point about talking with the hospice social worker or chaplain. Like you said they should be giving her the support she needs - they are supposed to be in contact with the family periodically or if someone needs their help before their scheduled time, she can reach out to them.
With my dad, we had the chaplain come and now with my mom the social worker as well as the chaplain contacts me frequently to see if I have any issues I'd like to discuss. If it weren't for the pandemic, the chaplain would be visiting.
He's lucky to have you, and I pray for God's peace and comfort to be with you in the days to come.
I'm sorry you're feeling so sad and helpless. It's not easy watching a loved one decline when they are in the end stage of their illness. You've been taking care of your dad as best as you can for years.
Your right, morphine doesn't hasten death as many believe but, please know that he needs it to prevent needless pain and suffering. My dad had it given to him when he was on hospice towards the end of his Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. I'm glad he had it because I didn't want him to have any pain - that would have been harder for me to watch than to have him sleeping/resting peacefully. He was always comfortable from that point on.
You'll need to let things take their course naturally no matter how hard it is to accept that his body is giving out. Just be there for him - their hearing is the last to go so you could read, sing, play his favorite music. Those were the types of things I did in spite of the fact that he reached the point of being in a deep sleep.
God knows what's going on - He is ultimately in control - just turn the reins over to Him and enjoy your dad for as long as he has left.
I will be praying for God to comfort you and bring you some peace as you go through each day. Take care of yourself in the meantime and your dad as well. Sending you a hug -