My name is Lisa and I have been on this site for about a year give or take. I've posted a few times on here before. Although my profile says that I am caring for my mother, actually most of my family is getting up there in age. I turn 39 next month and I have one sister who is 15 years older than I am, but she lives on the other side of the country and is estranged from both my mom and I. My Grandmother passed away in December at the age of 103. All that I really have left in the family is my mom, my aunt and a cousin. My aunt is 80 and my mom is 77, and both of them are very important to me. Ever since my Grandma died, my aunt (who was my Grandma’s caregiver) has started to show signs of dementia. I have not really noticed it so much, but my cousin has told me about it. My mom seems to be doing really well for her age. She does not have any serious health problems and has never been hospitalized. She lives by herself and is 100% independent and lives a very active social life; very active in our church, is on the board of directors in her neighborhood, and goes to exercise class twice a week. I know I will not always be this lucky and given her age, it is just a matter of time before her health starts to fail. I absolutely dread that day though. Her and I are very close, but I will not be able to take care of her, as I work 6-days a week and I cannot afford to quit my job or even work less hours anytime soon. It is going to be very hard on both of us for sure. I am glad that I found this site when I did for support when that day does come.
Your mother is happy and healthy, also good at self care, and quite possibly has already put all of these affairs in order, so to speak; but if you're really worrying, talk to her in general terms and ask her what her thoughts are.
I come here to relax, have a cuppa & feel connected to others going through other human issues - similar or not.
I have family members similar in age to yours. Some are completely independent, some are starting to need some help here & there, some are dependant. The ones heading into semi-dependance but blessed with insight & a practical mind are doing well. They accept home services & can stay independant for longer. (Unfortunately denial, disease or difficult personality makes that next stage harder for some).
What I have learnt is it is not for me to fix or do everything.
I don't need to clean everyone's houses, get their groceries, chauffeur them around. I can cheer them on as they decide their life path. Just like they don't need to pay my bills, buy my food or work my job - as that's my responsibility.
Don't know if that makes sense. Maybe after being being 'meat thrown to the crocs' as Alva mentioned in another post it may! 🐊😁
Join in anytime! Looking forward to reading your posts.
Have a nice discussion with her about the future and what she plans on doing for her care, when that times comes.