Is it appropriate to leave your 90 yr old mom who's had a stroke in the care of her grandchildren: female 16 yrs., male 19 yrs. while their dad (mom's son-in-law) is there as well. Say for instance after 7:00 pm when the care giver leaves. Not necessarily the entire evening, but for about 6 hours?
Do you think this is a bad idea or irresponsible on my part.
She's looking for a vacation, and get's it at the hospital.
My sister's family has lived in my moms house for 16 years. Saying they stay there to help with my mom, but the real reason is because they pay $175.00 every other week, (oh excuse me my mom went up on their rent after the stroke $25.00 so now they pay $200.00 every other week. NOw where can a family of 4 live for that. Oh yeah they pay the electric bill but there's 4 of them.
The niece is "TOO CUTE" to help change grandma's poopy diapers, and the nephew well he's in and out, Grandfather's clock, (aka my brother n law I call him that cause he looks so old) does nothing.
I've just come from a 3 day stay there 24/7 giving my sister a break, and I was the one who hired the caregiver. I put my life on hold to get my mom taken care of while my sister just kept on keeping on. Surely I shouldn't have but I'm not sorry, well maybe a little:)
MHMARFIL yes caregiving is a stressful job, it's a little too much for me though.
I am making an assumption here that your mom has been living with you sister and her family for at least a few months - long enough to hire a day time care giver. Perhaps they look at your evening to help as a break - perhaps they're just lame. I wonder what your sister does on evenings when she's not in the hospital, does all of grandmas care fall on her alone?
If grandma was living with this family then they should ALL - kids, son-in-law, brothers, sisters - expect to help with grandma when the main care giver is incapacitated. If it's all falling on your sister, then she probably needs some help and Grandma might benefit from assisted living.
Crystal, my mom care giver got off at 7:00 pm. I told my mom I would be over at about 11:00 pm. Crystal called me at 7:30 pm and said she was just leaving. She said my brother-n-law, my niece, and my nephew were all there with my mom. I said OK.
At 8:30 pm my mom called and asked me to come over because she had to go, you know gooooooooo. I asked her where my niece was, she said she can't help her. So I go over there to change my mom who'd already gone. While I'm there my nephew leaves, my niece leaves, and my brother-n-law is sneaking out the back door.
I took my 21 yr old over there with me and my intention was to go, and come back. Now everyone leaves since I've arrived. Needless to say I'm mad, fuming mad.
So I come back home to drop off my son who has an early am call, and now I've got to go right back over there because no one is there.
I feel the world on my shoulders, I really do. But I'm headin back because I surely don't want anything to happen to my mom with no one there.
I'll look for solutions and any kind of advice that you can give come Wednesday as that's when I'll be back home. My mom has a Doctor's apt Tuesday and I'm taking her so Crystal has the day off.
So unless my sister comes home from the hospital Tuesday, (after after effects of gastric bypass surgery colon clot) but then again she may not be of any use at that time either.