My sweet poor father had clots removed in a surgery and now has an infection causing severe continuance of fecal incontinence. Due to some drama involving my mother who suffers from vision loss, I received a call and had to come home without going to the store for depends for dad after work. My father has soiled himself and is sitting in the soiled clothes in his rocking chair, and he won't talk to me. He can't go into the shower due to his surgery healing.
I just want to get him clean and comfortable, but this is my first time, and despite my effort, if I can't hold my breath, I wretch and convulse as if I will vomit.
You must be very careful not to spread the disease. You need gloves, trash bags, warm wet wash cloths or cut up old towels. If you have any essential oils, Peppermint oil under the nose helps with terrible smells. A family member worked for the coroner's office and she used this trick when the had to remove bodies that had started to decompose.
If the shower has a removable head, you should be able to have dad stand in the shower and use it to remove the bulk of the mess. Give him a wash cloth to hold in front of his groin to offer a modicum of privacy/dignity. If Dad is capable ask him to wash around his penis and scrotum. You may have to be a bit more thorough. You will need to wear gloves this whole time.
If you do not have a removable shower head, if Dad can, have him stand in the tub/shower and use a pail of warm water and use it to rinse him off with a wash cloth.
I have no experience with cleaning this up with Dad on a bed or in another place.
You will need depends, but you will also need a waterproof cover on the bed, soaker pads on the bed and do not be surprised if the Depends cannot hold everything in. I remember my Aunt being mortified, when poop leaked down her leg.
Remind him that it is not his fault and that you are there to help him.