My mom is 81 and saw her father go through a years-long battle with dementia and pain, needing 24-hour care (in home from a non-family member). She is talking about how she would want to die before that, and has asked me about ways to kill herself. She jokingly says, "You'll smother me if that happens, right?" but then asks about painless ways to kill herself.
Right now, she's doing okay. But I understand her wish to die while she's still in control. I just don't know what to say to her.
I have a stash of pills.
I told her if I ever call her one day and ask her to come let the dogs out in the morning she will know I have taken my pills. (I can't let the dogs go unattended)
I guess my fear doing this would be that I would not actually kill myself but be in a vegetative state. I think that would be the thought that would prevent me form doing anything.
I do not live in a State where assisted suicide is legal.
If you do, if mom does this would be a valid discussion for her doctor.
There are steps that are sort of in between.
Advance directives. Filling out a POLST or whatever version you State accepts. This document is more detailed than an old DNR form.
What to say to her...
**do you understand? Tell her so.
**do you agree with what she is saying? Tell her so. If you disagree explain why but accept her point of view.