I live in Phoenix, AZ. I'd love to talk to people who are taking care of spouses who deny that they have any symptoms of any cognitive deterioration, refuse to discuss it with a Dr. and get angry when I have to take over financial tasks that were previously his purview.
Is there a support group in my area, or something online, or can I rely on you dear people to help me through this period? I know if will only get worse. Thank you!
You might google "support groups in Phoenix", and please contact Maricopa County community relations or similar office, and ask for information if they can help guide you to some support groups. I know they can give you some info. Helped me quite a bit when my husband had dementia and Alzheimers. Hope this helps.
The UCSF Living with Dementia Caregiver Support Group provides an environment for families and friends of patients diagnosed with dementia to share their experiences and receive support. Walk-ins are welcome. This group is free and is co-sponsored by the Alzheimer's Association and UCSF Memory and Aging Center.
Location: Virtual/Zoom.
Meetings: Second and fourth Tuesdays of the month, 6 – 7:30 p.m.
Contact: Sarah Dulaney at sarah.dulaney@ucsf.edu or (415) 353-4049 or the Alzheimer's Association at (800) 272-3900.
This group has 10-12 members, open to all, do not have to live locally. Participants are from all over. You're not obligated to stay the entire duration if you have limited time.
Good luck!
As to support group I happen to love Facebook and think you will find support for your very specific needs on some of their pages. Look up dementia or Alzheimer's groups.
In all truth, as an old retired RN I can tell you that denial is typical in the early years. Often the more vehement the denial, the more certain the diagnosis.
Many here don't enjoy or use FB. I have found it an enormous help, esp when my brother had probable early Lewy's dementia diagnosis.
You are going to need to contact your husband's doctor (if he/she is also your doc that's an enorous plus) with evidence you find of his illness prior to his next appointment with his MD so that his MD can handle some of this. Reach his office to find out how best to do this (letter, call?). Medicare exams are now a requirement, so your husband's doc can call in this "yearly checkup" and the doc can make the moves from there.
I would contact an elder law attorney. It is concerning that finances may be at risk in all this. If you have spent a lifetime married and not a part of financial things that is a huge complication that can endanger money. Executive functions often fail as much as a decade before things are coming clearly into focus. You are going to need a way to get into the financial loop, however it is done.
The certain thing here is change. You are going to need a tough and savvy approach that is honest and upfront. I am so sorry you are going through this.
Contact Alz.org to try to reach out for some groups that may be in your own specific area, or a way to research where they may be. Good luck and again, Welcome.
If you have specific questions, do ask them here; and welcome.
They literally saved my life as I was literally at my wits end back then, even if I was only able to get away for one of their meetings. And I have to tell you that there is something very powerful about an in person support group verses an online one, as when in person the other caregivers can truly be there for each other, offering a hug when needed or just passing a Kleenex to someone crying.
And being able to share what's on your heart and mind without being judged or made to feel bad, and to know that you're not alone is priceless.
So I would see if your city offers any in-person meetings first, and if they don't Zoom would be the next best or of course this Forum as well.
Your spouse is suffering from anosognosia. Here is a link to an Agingcare article on this very subject:
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/anosognosia-dementia-patients-cant-recognize-impairment-210090.htm
Best of luck to you.