My mom has Alzheimer's and has a home helper every morning from 9 to noon. She has the opportunity to go to a center with adult day services. They also provide respite care. Both services are included in a fee that we already pay for her care.
We (mom, brother and I) toured the center last Friday. Yesterday we asked her if she would like to try going. She refuses. At first she seemed to think that we wanted her to move there. When we explained that it was just for a few hours during the day, she still refused. She got very upset (was crying) and eventually told us that she doesn't like the other patients there.
We think the interaction will help Mom deal with her depression. Her social worker and nurse agree.
Howe do I convince her to give it a try?
This same center has respite care, and we had wanted mom to go later this month. My brother is going to MI for the weekend and it would be the first time I can be alone in the house in over a year (I lived alone before mom and bro moved in last year and I really miss having that time to myself in my own house). We went ahead and reserved a spot for her in the respite for that weekend. We're hoping it might be easier for her to try a weekend when there are only 8 other people there than start during the week when it is so busy. Now we just have to get her to agree to go!!
Thank you for the great suggestions
You and your dad have a truly special thing going.
my respect,
Bobbie
Here's what I did to show him it was an ok place to go:
1. Want to go out to lunch?
First, I took him for about 3 months, each week "out to lunch" at the center. Sometimes he wouldn't go out to lunch with me, so I would go out with him, stop by the center and get lunch for us there while he fretted in the car. (really lunch I made).
2. The center is a place that has what we need there!
Second, everytime we left the house, I made it a point to drop by the center for "something" - anything. And, I made it a point each time for someone (anyone I could get!) to come out to the car and say hi to my dad.
3. The center isn't your home, just a place where friends hang out...
Third, my dad was scared to death I was going to drop him off and leave him at the center. So, I asked the center director to come by my dad's house 2 times. Just to say hi. I couldn't get him to come by anymore, but a cook there did - just dropped by our house on way to work to say hi, hope to see you today for game of checkers.
By the end of 3 months, my dad started to expect lunch at the center. It got to the point where I had to tell my dad he couldn't go everyday, only go 2 times a week. I don't know if it was because he preferred the center's cooking to mine ( I hope not!) or not, but whatever the case, it worked.
Hope this helps!