I am the only caregiver for my 60 year old father. He is in end stage COPD in the active dying phase. He hasn't had anything to eat or drink in about 4 days because he isn't conscious enough to swallow. He is less than 60 lbs. Last night he started the terminal secretions and Cheyne Stokes breathing. Then the terminal agitation, trying to get out of bed, yelling, asking for help to get up. I called hospice and they upped his meds which helped a lot and I was able to get a few hours sleep. He gets bouts of severe hiccups. His hospice nurse said this is all normal, but gives no indication of how long it will go on for. After caring for him since July 30 I am exhausted. There is no one I can ask to help, not really. In the state he is in it would take what dignity he has left for someone else to see him like this. If my brother takes off from work to help he doesn't get paid and he has 3 little kids to take care of and his wife is out of work (she is not an option for help as I would loose whats left of my sanity!) It would just help me if y'all could share how long you dealt with this, since I know there is no way to know for certain.
I took care of many dying patients in a hospital. If hiccups do not wake him and he is comfortable, then he is OK. Sometimes the last dying breath comes out as a cry. Do not be alarmed, the final moments can be a reflex and does not indicate pain.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with all this, but it will be over soon.
May God bless you and your father.
With a terminal lung disease, pain control relaxes the patient so things are not so intense. There is always more that can be done. Ask for the help.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through.