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Obsessive thoughts & behaviors in general are common with dementia/Alzheimer's, especially as the wretched disease progresses, unfortunately. Check with your husband's doctor to see if there is a medication that can be prescribed to calm the OCD down a bit so both of you can relax with this obsession he's having.
Men and their bowels! It's an obsession with them from teen years until they die. My sons were obsessed when they were teens, my husband moans and groans about being a couple of hours "overdue," and my dad was freaked out about possible constipation when he was dying of cancer.
I have nothing better to offer than what has already been said here, but I think men are somehow wired to obsess about their bowel movements. :-)
We had this with my sister. She had a period of time where all she wanted was to sit on the toilet. Even when she went out all she wanted was to find a public toilet. It went on for a while and then, like most of the phases of Alzheimers, it stopped. We sometimes just had to leave her on the loo for quite a while so that she was content for a while. It's a difficult phase but it should pass. Good luck.
My mom is obsessed with sitting on the toilet too. Goes through a whole roll or more of TP every day. Sometimes she falls asleep on the toilet. For a while she was flushing all kinds of objects down the toilet, so there were several clogged toilet incidents. She even took one of the cardboard cores, cut it up and flushed it down. Since then, I take the cardboard out of the TP before she gets it. (And, yes, I know there are coreless rolls, I don't want to pay more for them.) One of her phones is by the toilet and 3 out of 4 times we call, she is on the toilet.
My mom who’s 78 and has dementia is also going through the same thing right now. She phones me daily to complain that she’s constipated and the Sister at her frail-care won’t give her medication. Tells me she hasn’t been to the toilet in days, when in reality the Sister monitors all her bowel movements and medicates accordingly. She wants me to sneak medication in for her so she can take it when she’s constipated but she forgets that she’s been. It’s got so bad that I’m thinking of just giving her a few sugar pills to “hide” in her room (I’ll still tell the Sister) so she thinks she has control. She also gets a bit aggressive with me when I tell her she has been to the toilet and doesn’t need meds - she says “how would I know - do I trust what the Sisters say”. It’s very difficult and I hope, for the both of us, this phase passes soon. All the best dealing with such a difficult situation.
Laxatives are addictive & a tolerance forms over time..meaning a lot more of the same medication is needed to get the same result. This is turn weakens the bowel so it cannot function correctly. Constipation means all the waste is not being emptied, which in turn is causing irritation, inflammation and upset (as you are aware) for the patient. The following help with bowel function: Flax seed tea, alfalfa tablets, dried fruits (especially prunes & figs) soaked in hot water for min. 8 hours. Plenty of vegetables..sprouts, salad whenever bread is eaten. Foods with soluble & insoluble fibre (google has lists) Yellow vegetables (due to magnesium content) corn meal x 2 times a week for breakfast, butternut squash, pumpkin,...Exercise is crucial...even a walk around the ward x 2 times daily. If she is unable to walk you could get her a mini trampoline that she uses to just press her feet on as she sits on the chair/bed each day to move the circulation and lymph Abdominal massage with a little oil warmed in your hands (move the hands in a clockwise motion). Distilled water is so important...Perhaps you could take some gallon bottles of distilled & a drinking sized bottle when you visit. The body will respond nicely if you give it the exercise, water, foods & wholesome supplements it needs to function in a healthy way In a medical system nurses consider 1BM a day healthy...regardless of the size or quantity of waste...this is inaccurate. The bowel is designed to empty after each meal. Listen to your Mother please. Even if you are able/willing to instigate some of the above suggestions it will improve her health & well being.
Have you told the doctor about this? Alzheimer’s can affect bodily functions. My brother in law could sense the need but his body could not eliminate. It led to impaction and hospitalization.
Obsessions are common with dementia. He may feel constipated or feel urge to defecate. Please address this with his doctor to make sure he doesn't have a gi tract problem. If that checks out ok, the best option may be to put him on a toileting schedule - every 2 hours on the toilet while he is awake. Divert his attention to other topics or activities the rest of the time.
Having a bowel movement is something he understands and is able to do. As others have said, this particular obsession may not last forever. If he is not causing himself any harm, let him visit the toilet as often as he feels the need.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Dementia makes it a whole new ballgame. We'd just have to lie to daddy and he'd believe us. As he got worse, he'd obsess a little more.
I agree--have him checked for hemorrhoids. Those can make it feel like he needs to 'go' when there is simply some swelling that can be helped.
Good luck!
I have nothing better to offer than what has already been said here, but I think men are somehow wired to obsess about their bowel movements. :-)
It seems like a common obsession.
Abdominal massage with a little oil warmed in your hands (move the hands in a clockwise motion). Distilled water is so important...Perhaps you could take some gallon bottles of distilled & a drinking sized bottle when you visit. The body will respond nicely if you give it the exercise, water, foods & wholesome supplements it needs to function in a healthy way
In a medical system nurses consider 1BM a day healthy...regardless of the size or quantity of waste...this is inaccurate. The bowel is designed to empty after each meal. Listen to your Mother please. Even if you are able/willing to instigate some of the above suggestions it will improve her health & well being.
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