My fiancé is a paraplegic, he is wheelchair bound and paralyzed from the waist down, so doing most daily tasks are harder for him, don't get me wrong though, he is hard headed and can do anything he puts his mind to but its hard on him. I am his 24/7 caretaker, and I do not have a job. And with that being said I want to be able to provide more than just assistance for him, I'm not sure how to make money when I have no free time. He does have a job so we have an income but its just barely enough to get by. But, Any and all advice is appreciated, thank you for reading. And I am so sorry if this isn't really the type of post to be posted here I'm just not sure where to get advice.
1) I’ve known and worked with several guys who were paraplegics, and I’ve never known one who needed 24/7 care. They normally needed help to get up in the morning and go to bed at night. They used a catheter for urine, and managed it themselves. They usually looked for as much independence as possible, certainly not 24/7 care. They would have regarded that as ‘smother love’ that they really really didn’t want.
2) What is your own ability to earn, if you aren’t providing care 24/7? What skills or qualifications do you have to earn your own income, if you aren’t so tied up with care? Long term poverty is not good for any relationship, at least not unless there is a clear way out of it to a better future in the foreseeable future. Ways to earn ‘some money’, like a little pocket money to do a little more, don’t cut the mustard for two or three decades. What is your ‘way out’ of poverty?
I’m sure that you love your fiance, but your love will be under horrible pressure if you don’t think about these things. If you can’t solve the problems, you both may be better getting past your expectations of a long term relationship and marriage. Your love for each other may last better without the pressure of these expectations.
Lots of love, Margaret
Why do I say this? Not to be disrespectful but rather a wake up call.
He has a job, you say. And, can get in home health care support thru multiple agencies. If he is a veteran, even more support services.
You should put yourself first and get a job that supports you. This will improve your self esteem and, start to address both your financial needs and, to set appropriate boundaries between relationships and, caregiving.
Also, you getting a job will help you look at the question, are you actually using his disability justify you not working? Don't let this be the case.
Get out of the house , get a job that is meaningful for you.
Best of luck to you. Please update us on any changes you are able to make.
I wish you the best of luck.
Did u see Americas got talent. There was a man born with no legs.
However, you can set up your own hours and they offer benefits although the pay is low. You might be able to offer services such as: cook and do laundry at your place and take over to a recipient.
https://www.cdss.ca.gov/in-home-supportive-services
Read these:
Can I be a caregiver for my partner?
Therefore, they can elect to hire their spouses as personal care providers. Their spouses, if approved, are paid by the state program or through an intermediary agency. Compensation rates vary by program and state. Typically, caregiver spouses are paid between $10.75 – $20.75 / hour.
Read this and research.
https://www.payingforseniorcare.com/paying-spousal-caregivers
Call the IRS, too.
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