I had a great visit with my son and just got back a few days ago. (Two day drive which I did all by myself with no problem). In the past I was babied and cared for to the point of it being like I was 100 years old. I'm 76 and have had some medical issues. Not finding words I want to use to finish a sentence. Falling down a lot, lots of back pain. Eating healthy now and words come easy. Very little back pain now after having an ablation on the nerves on my back. Still fall but have learned how to fall so I don't break anything. I'm also taking a lot of hikes. But NO reason to be babied so much. I think the fact that my son said to me (while planning on what we were going to do when I got there) "Mom, I don't want to do anything that might break you" was kind of the final straw. His in laws (who all live down the street from each other) are wonderful people but treat me like I'll break if they breath on me. (Keep in mind that the mother in law had a house fall on her that they were taking down and now can't use one of her arms). So I really did my best to amaze them on how great I was doing. Using hiking poles which are great for keeping your balance and with very little back pain I not only kept up with my son and others but out did them. They were better on not babying me so much but I guess my question is how do I get them to treat me like a normal adult and not so much like I might break any moment? I do realize that they consider it "showing respect" to the oldest member but really 76 isn't that old. And FYI, I've never fallen at their place. I love them to death but just want to get on more of an equal footing with them... Heading back there at Christmas... Respected but not wanting it quite so much.
Now give them time to come down from your medical issues as well.
During the covid pandemic, my sig-other's daughter wanted to drive down from New York to Wash DC to get us so we would be safer with them from the covid. Yeah right, live in a household with 2 teenagers who can't stay home, that is safer? Think not. Same thing happened during the Jan 6th clash on the Capital Building.... she was afraid for our lives. No, the villagers are not running around with pitch forks and torches in our community.
My folks were in their 90's and I never worried about them, they use to walk 2 miles a day, rain or shine. Still lived in their home. Did volunteer work until Mom couldn't any longer hear and Dad couldn't figure out the new software on the hospital computer. Yep, Dad was still driving in his late 80's.
Just grin and bear it. You aren't going to change how they think.
No 76 is not old. My DH is 74. Works out in the yard and golfs as much as he can. So, keep up the good work.
When you go for Christmas your family will have caught on by then that you're good and they won't be babying you. You'll be the one cleaning up LOL.
Is there anything they could do, or any routine to follow, that you *would* find helpful? If so, it often works better and causes no offence if you can tell people what you do like, rather than trying to put a stop to what you don't.