My mom is 93. 3 weeks ago she started to not feel well. Turns out she had a UTI and was treated with antibiotics. She still felt I'll and wanted to stay in bed and sleep , which is not like her. She started losing appetite and just slept pretty much around the clock. Which I then put 24-hour round the clock aids in her home as I live in another town, over 200 miles from her. I told the aid to tell her if she didn't start eating I would call paramedics. She told the aid if paramedics come she will not go to the hospital. So after one week of her staying in bed and not eating I drove to her home. I called hospice and got them in place while I was down there. It has now been over 3 weeks that she is still in bed and not eating. She is drinking water and will have a cup of tea. She has a bedside commode which she gets up and uses to urinate a tiny bit a couple of times of day , has not moved her bowels in over two weeks as there is no food in there at all. She has lost a lot of weight in 3 weeks. The hospice doctor can't find anything wrong on the outside everything seems to be okay and her lungs are still clear even though she's been laying in bed for 3 weeks. She is alert while laying in bed she will talk to you but she has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's so she talks a lot that doesn't make sense. My question is I don't know if she will recover from this or if she is at end of life?
Hospice should better be able to answer any questions you may have regarding this.
Your mother is 93 years old. That's pretty old and she's probably just tired of this thing called living. Who can blame her?
Just make sure that you leave nothing left unsaid with her and enjoy as much time as you can with her before she leaves this world for the next.
God bless you both.
What is 'wrong' with your mother is that she's 93. Nothing can change that. She has already lived well past the 'average' age span for women. It sounds as if her body is doing the normal natural things that a tired body DOES.
Not need nutrition any more. (Digestive system can't handle it)
Puts out very little, very dark urine. (Kidneys are shutting down)
Sleeps a lot.
She seems peaceful, right? Let her be. Let HER be the guidance by which you follow her care.
My mom, about a week before she passed, said to me that she felt really 'foggy' and what was happening. I didn't play coy with her. "Mom, you are dying. And it's OK. If you are tired, don't get up. Don't push through each day." She actually appreciated the truth.
The day after her favorite granddaughter was in town and had come to visit--mom passed on. I think she was waiting to see Meggie one more time.
The last couple of weeks when my mom was in severe decline, I spent time each day pouring out my heart to her-- letting her know what a great mom she was, how much I appreciated everything she did for me, assuring her of the glorious future that awaits her, apologizing for my own inadequacies, expressing my sadness over what she has had to endure, and letting her know how much I was going to miss her, while encouraging her to let God know when she was ready and then run to Him because He was waiting, along with many other loved ones who preceded her.
Hospice will suggest making sure your mom knows you and other loved ones are going to be fine (finances, care, relationships, etc). I did that many times as well. Hearing is the last thing to go, so even as she gets closer to the end, she will still be able to hear you. Hospice advises to leave her alone as well, as some people will not let go until they are alone. And they need the alone-time to process everything. So I did not stand vigil 24x7 but checked in and made quiet time for just me and her.
My mom finally passed the day after her granddaughter visited. She grabbed onto her hand and didn't want to let go. She even let out a sound, trying to say something, just after her granddaughter walked away. ...If you pray, ask God to help you know all the right things to say and then say them. If you can, come back later or the next day and do it again. You might be surprised how much you want/need/are led to say. I believe this helped my mom, and it also helped me. I now look back with no regrets, realizing I said everything that I wanted to say and hopefully helped my mom cross over with peace. My caregiver said my mom had one of the smoothest transitions she had ever seen -- and I assure you, my mom lived a pretty anxious and fearful life, so that's saying something. May you and your mom both get through this transition period smoothly.
Hospice should be able to guide you about this.
my thoughts is yes, your mom is transitioning to end of life. My mom started sleeping more, no interest in food or liquids. My mom went pretty quickly in her decline ….
I wish you God’s grace during this difficult time.
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