My father has now been diagnosed with kidney failure. He is refusing dialysis ans a catheter at home. Hospice was suggested. He has COPD, diabetes and early stages of dementia. Has a good enough good days, he refuses a POA. I have been helping take care of him, but now I’m wondering what this kidney failure means. Has anyone have any experience with this? When I hear the word hospice, I hear end of life. Help!
I had 3 friends who were diabetics and all had kidney failure. One a juvenile diabetic the other 2 diabetes II. The juvenile one could not do conventional dialysis because years of being diabetic effected her veins. Her and one other did the peritoneal dialysis. The other on reg dialysis. All chose to discontinue dialysis. All passed within 2 weeks. Two in early 60s, one was 70.
I would wonder if Dad has Dementia. The toxins produced by the kidneys have dementia type symptoms.
Hard decision but its Dads decision.
End of life is not the worst thing in the world when someone is very sick. If you can provide a quality end of life, in a hospice, you will be at peace and so will your father.
You don't mention your Dad's age. I am 80, and a retired RN. For several decades now I have had written in my advanced directive that I will not accept kidney dialysis, even briefly. To my mind the cost of same is not worth the extra limited time to live with the side effects. Your father would have to spend at least three days a week in dialysis for about half the day. He would be exhausted and in need of dialysis prior to it, and depleted after it. He would be on a limited diet and prone to infection from his implanted dialysis catheter. To me it is no way to buy a bit more time and I would choose Hospice and the end of life care.
Without dialysis your Father has been told now that his kidneys are in failure and cannot rid his body of toxins. Many live much longer than predicted without dialysis and many pass very quickly indeed; much of that depends on the "numbers" the doc is seeing now in lab tests.
So yes, you are now facing end of life care; I am very sorry but that is the truth. Hospice will ease your father's passing; there will no longer be treatments other than of things involving comfort care.
I agree with your father's choice and it would be my own. Support him in his choice.
He need not have a POA if he doesn't wish one, but it is time for him to tell everyone where any will and important papers are.
At least you will have great memories of the man you describe as wonderful. Not everyone can say that about their parents!
I know this is hard but you're going to have to come to terms with this quickly so you can be there to support your dad.
Best of luck.
If dad needs dialysis and is refusing it, he is going to die, sooner, rather than later.
He will not appoint a POA? Then there is nothing you CAN do.
Hospice can mean EOL it usually does, but it also means CARE and DIGNITY. He is going to get sick, not doing dialysis and I expect that's an unpleasant way to go.
You have to have SOME kidney function to live. Doesn't he understand this? I cannot imagine his Drs haven't spoken to him about it.
I'm sorry for my bluntness. But that's the way it is.