Just had a nice old conversation with mum (Aussie spelling). In a few short minutes, I got confabulation, delusion, confusion, paranoia and the uba parent routine.
She had an appointment with a geriatrician today for her 6 monthly aged care assessment but didn't turn up. She is refusing to undergo these assessments, has changed her GP because the old male one kept referring her to these aged care assessments, now she has a woman GP (but couldn't remember her name) she won't have to have the aged care assessments. She doesn't want anyone interfering and she will 'cut me off' (mum thinks she is sitting on a pile of diamonds and pearls) if I exercise powers under the medical guardianship. She scored 19 out of 30 in her most recent MOCA.
I'll just quietly chat with the new GP on Monday. Sigh. I have a brother who helps mum when it suits him. Unfortunately, he has not experienced mum's symptoms as he only spends a couple of hours at the most in her company. Does anyone have any tips? I'm glad I found this site.
I'd get mum moved if it were me, and forfeit the jewels she'll be withholding from you as a result. 😃
Safety is top priority. I'd also rethink the driving......her executive brain function is compromised with a score of 19 meaning her judgement and reflexes aren't the best.
Good luck with a stubborn woman....not easy, I know
Having to let the real world consequences take effect.
What's not working for your Mum in independant living? Like it is dire safety stuff? Gas on? Falls etc?
Watch Teepa Snow on YouTube. Amazing advice on dealing with dementia behaviors.
Sometimes UTIs can cause further confusion in elders, dementia or no.
Sometimes other family members just don't see the dementia. My brother claimed that all of mom's hand-wringing anxiety (dementia related) was her having a "pity party". The neurologist explained the dementia to him. I highly recommend having your brother talk to the doc.
Sometimes we need to do things to protect our loved ones that cause them to resent us. It sounds like you are in that position with your mom.
One piece of advice. Do not even consider taking her to live with you or moving in with her. If there is already suspicion and paranoia, it is only going to get worse.
Having her in a good Assisted Living or Memory Care facility where there is trained staff to deal with her delusions is the best thing. Good luck!