Hello!
My 85-YO-MIL has CKD, late stage. Due to previous head injuries (falls) she can no longer speak. She is living in a small private care home. We feel she gets pretty good attention there on hospice. She has started hitting the wall with her fists. Hospice nurse says this is part of the CKD behaviors. Also says she is too old and frail for dialysis. I realize we would have to take her off of hospice to have dialysis. Is dialysis hard on a person? Sorry, that sounds like a very stupid question. I'm just wondering if the nurse is not wanting to lose a hospice patient? I hate second guessing if I'm being told the truth. She has lost a lot of weight. They aren't putting her teeth in and so she is on a soft diet. Any thoughts or advise are appreciated. Thank you in advance.
I would like to gently ask the blunt questions;
Firstly, what does MIL's Kidney Specialist recommend about dialysis? IF recommended, for what aim?
For comfort care measures? Or attempt to lengthen life?
I realise thereare many people that value taking all medical measures to prolong a life. There are others that value nature's way. Your families values will shape how you feel.
I would ask, despite not speaking, can your MIL communicate what she wants?
Does she understand about her condition? If so, does she want *invasive treatments*?
While I have not had dialysis treatment, I've met many people that have. They report it is not painful but is tedious. They can feel cool/cold & tired afterwards - but I'm sure that varies. They can show some confusion (due to build up of toxins) on non-dialysys days in end stage. This can sometimes cause distress to relatives.
For younger people on a donor list, dialysis can be a holding pattern until a more hopeful future life.
For me, at advanced age, I value quality of life over invasive treatments.
So sorry she and you are going thru this.
I don't love life so much that I'd opt for that, myself.
If you're waiting for a transplant, that's one thing. If you are simply choosing to treat kidney failure as part of aging--well, that's your choice.
This is definitely one time you need to opinions of the drs and listen to them.
It doesn't appear to be painful, at least. My MIL's kidneys are shutting down and she has not complained of pain of any kind.
Thank all of you for your replies and compassion.
It is much appreciated and helpful.
Bless each of you in your journey. Grace! Grace! Grace!
whew.
Lainey
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