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My husband hasn’t been since last year. He doesn’t brush unless I stand with him. He won’t let me brush for him. He will wash his mouth with mouthwash if I give it to him.

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Unless it is an emergency dental situation, I would not worry about teeth cleaning at age 85 with dementia.

Ask yourself why? Dying with perfectly clean death won't stop the process, more important things to worry about at this stage of his life.

Just my opinion, he doesn't need any more stress in his life, nor do you.
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Cheeky79 Sep 2023
I agree. I recently brought my husband to the dentist for a filling and a cleaning. He didn't stop asking me why he had to go. He has moderate alz.
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Good Morning,

I read an article by a dentist that stated, "if people used an electric/power toothbrush, I would lose 60% of my patients".

Some medical insurances provide as part of their OTC oral hygiene products.
You may have to insist on perhaps, the manual toothbrush in the morning and the power toothbrush at night, as is the case with my mother.

Also, mouthwash with no alcohol is also good and the floss strips that you can get in there and clean--no nuts or anything hard to prevent going to the oral surgeon.

I'm going through this with mother. When they have the 5-year "full mouth" x-rays that's when they find little things that can turn into big things if you don't get it fixed right away.

Call ahead and tell them, husband not well, antsy in the dental chair and give tell them the you want the "short" version but a thorough cleaning.

My dentist lets me come in and sit next to mother or right outside the door. Make sure you tell them so they know what to expect. If the chair is too low, tell them. Some dentists want to do a piggy-back, basically too many procedures at once.

For example, my dentist wanted to do an exam wait and hour and then the do cleaning--basically mother would be there for 2 1/2-3 hours. I responded, NO, NO, NO. This will not work. We will re-book.

Watch their head when they are getting out of the dental chair since they can bump their head. My mother is on Eliquis. I think 1/2 the elderly population is on a blood thinner.

They don't really know you from a hole in the wall. Be assertive and inform them of any medications. I live this. The Pandemic threw everything off. Know your coverage as well. Some health insurances even off some type of dental along with $$$ on an OTC card. My mother has dental coverage since she has all of her own teeth. Let them know if husband has a partial plate beforehand.

I hope I was of some help. You're a good woman!
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Leave him alone and let him enjoy the rest of his life. This is one of our problems these days; we refuse to accept the fact that they won't live forever. It is OK to die esp when one has lived a long time.
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jebs62 Sep 2023
I agree. My mother is 89. She and I both agree that death is a kind of healing. She's vocal about her DNR which starts at CPR. If her heart stops for any reason, let her go. She put this into place years ago. We've talked about it repeatedly. I know this is what she wants, so I tell every physician and facility to adhere to it.
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My only goal with mom was keeping her calm and as anxiety free and happy as possible in Memory Care Assisted Living. Not to traumatize her with drills and picks and needles. The times I had to take her to the oral surgeon for extractions, before she went into Memory Care, was a true nightmare. She was up the entire night before stressing out. Crying in the car on the drive over (dh had to take a day off work to help w the chaos), then shaking from head to toe when we got into the waiting room. She schmoozed it up with the dentist right away, so he proceeded to numb her up and extract 2 molars with no pain to mom, all in 5 minutes.

When in Memory Care and a wheelchair, there was no way I was taking her off the premises to any dentists. Period. So I hired a traveling dental company who charged a fortune but worked on mom in her room on her recliner. Only when an extraction was required did I call this group or if mom was saying she had pain. At this point in her dementia, she was constantly insisting "little little little pieces of teeth are falling out every day." Which wasn't the case, obviously, it was sesame seeds on the bagels she was eating.

Taking 90 and 100 yo dementia sufferers to the dentist for cleanings every 3 months is cruel, imo. Leave them alone to enjoy some quality of life! There's enough misery for them to deal with as it is!
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Forsythia Sep 2023
It all depends on the patient. My mother, super extrovert, quickly forgets the very short period of discomfort from the dentist which delays the chronic pain of a toothache they can’t verbalize. (Doing nothing….That, to me, is cruel…you know….do what’s easiest, damn the consequences. I can’t do that. I love her.) I recommend the silver diamine. If it was offered at my moms facility life would be easier for me.
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Sedated dentistry. There are several dentists who do that in my town.

It's probably best to continue dental cleanings and checkups if at all possible because gum infections or abscesses can cause a whole lot of undesirable effects in the rest of the body. (Which is what my dentist told me.)
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Geaton777 Sep 2023
First make sure that your LO isn't on any meds that would interact with any sedation.
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Do you think he will cooperate for the dentist if he barely cooperates for you? I would only take him to a dentist who knows this patient is impaired and has experience dealing with impaired people.
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A LOT of people who are perfectly fine have dental cleanings under light sedation. My BIL is so dentist-phobic he can only handle going once a year and they have to completely knock him out. All work is done in one (VERY expensive) visit.

Older people can usually handle the light sedation--beginning with a small dose of something calming before you leave the house. Make sure they can walk, or bring a wheelchair, as they can fall while slightly sedated.

Plan on being at the dentists' for longer than a normal checkup.

Just keep doing the best you can for their oral health. Some really nasty bacteria can enter the bloodstream via the gums and teeth need to be kept clean and maintained.

Some people find a gentle electric toothbrush does a better job than then trying to guide the brushing. You just keep trying until you find your niche.
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Mom is 95 years young. She was never a fan of dentist. When she complained of a tooth hurting, the Memory Care facility called me and off to the dentist we went. She had two abscess teeth and 5 broken teeth. Dementia patients sometimes don’t feel pain or the symptoms are short circuited.
Well after 7 teeth were extracted, I asked about future teeth cleaning and prevention.
Her doctor said as long as her teeth are brushed well and often, she should be fine. Not to put her through general anesthesia or have her get upset.
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How old is your husband? Does he have Alzheimer's and how far along is he? This has a lot to do with the answer. Until just this past 6 months, we used to pick dad up from the ALF and take him to doctor appointments. He started getting to where he didn't want to wait in the waiting room, and then he would get anxious during any procedure. This year we changed all of the appointments we could to Zoom type meetings. We stopped any scans or other procedures that may lead to surgery as we know we would not put him through that. But we are lucky he has no pains or issues other than losing functionality. Dad is 94 with advanced Alzheimers. If we don't prompt him, he won't brush his teeth. We help him to the bathroom and then I stop at the sink with him and have him wash his hands. While doing that I take his toothbrush and put paste on it and after drying his hands, I hand him the brush and guide him to brush his teeth. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. I am thankful for the successful times. We don't stress about every little thing anymore. We are just glad to still have him and enjoy the moments we can still laugh with him (even though he has no idea who we are but recognizes us as the nice visitors who love him)
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My wife has Alzheimer's and can't communicate or understand but she goes to the dentists every six months . It's something she didn't like but now she's ok as long as I'm in the room next to her. The reassurance of me being there helps her overcome everything so far.
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