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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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One question family members always want answered is how to know when the senior they love is in the end stages of Alzheimer's, and what they can do to ensure the highest possible quality of life as the disease progresses.
Our mom suffered with dementia and passed in 2019. As I read through the stages of the disease (for the 100th + time) I am reminded of all the stages my mom suffered through ... this is a horrendous disease and one that I am scared to death of ... I pray that the health and medical community find cures for it... ♥️♥️ my mom passed with my sister and I by her side ... we knew she brought us into this wonderful world and we were not going to let her leave this world for heaven by herself.... the most humbling experience of my life....
I take care of my mom, 87, diagnosed with dementia about 6 years ago. She has caretaker during day, my husband and I do the other times, I come home from working and get her dinner and meds for her. I don't know what stage she is, but she cannot fix her meals, take a bath, she has incontinence bad. She can't remember if her mother or siblings are alive. She can't remember what she ate five min ago. she watches the same show over and over and can't keep her attention to reading or watching much tv. She forgot the name of her one sibling who is alive (just yesterday). She misplaces her rings, phone everyday, etc. Over and over! She cannot carry on a conversation b/c she trails off into another subject, tells the same story over and over. It is becoming very difficult but I feel so bad for her. I don't know when it will be time to put her in a nursing home, I just can't seem to do it while she knows who we are. I have a sister who lives five min away, but is of no help. She wanted me to put her in a nursing home years and years ago. In fact, we don't even speak anymore b/c of this. I feel bad for everybody going thru this.
My mom has been diagnosed with dementia for the past six years or so. She is now to the point of forgetting if her mother is alive, or her siblings, etc. She forgot her great grandson recently, and she can never remember what she ate for lunch, if she had a bath and doesn't seem to grasp anything you tell her. She misplaces things constantly, we look for the same things over and over every day. It gets frustrating but you realize she cannot help it. The hardest part is being tied down, not being able to go on the weekends because she can't be left alone. She is 87 years old but still walks, feeds herself, although she can't fix her meals or a bath, etc. It is very hard to make a decision to put them in a nursing home when they still know who you are and can still talk, etc.
PennyThaGr8, your mother has dementia, right? You may never get her to understand your needs. She doesn't even understand things that she used to know well. This is all new territory. She's never needed a caregiver before!
The thing is, your mother doesn't need to "understand" this for you to take action. You need some time to yourself. Just do it. Don't wait for a person with dementia to understand something -- at any stage.
How do I get my Mother to understand that I need a break. I am tired, she wants me right with her, all the time. 24/7 I don't want to feel like a awful person. I just feel like I need to get away. And can anyone tell me why My Mother thinks that she has all the money in the world. And continues to call me a liar. About her money. I tell her that I give her $100 in cash a month. I even show it to her, and she says I just put it there. To make her look bad. WTH
It is hard to manage a person (spouse) with Alzheimer that is always been abusive and controlling , I have stopped being ashamed , reaching out for help has been the right thing to do, do not suffer in along, I am going to enjoy my life I have not grand children but I do have a grand dog , get love where you can..caregivers need love too..
“I knew an aged man (a friend’s father) who had Alzheimer’s disease. During the advanced stages, I noticed that the senior started to shadow his caregiver and followed him everywhere. At first, I couldn’t understand what was happening, but then I read up on cognitive decline and its severity. Thanks for sharing this article, Carol. It’s really helpful!”
As if it could not get worse my husband is maybe stage 6.Now I am told he has severe aortia stenosis. The heart doctors say there is nothing they can do for him. I have an appointment with his primary dr. tomorrow to get started with hospice.I have lots of questions ...I really need help! we have been married for 59 years.
Up until the last few days, dad has been pretty even tempered. Always knows me and this past Monday his former secretary went to the NH to see him. He knew her! He never asked how she was, etc. Once he said hello, he said no more. Today I went to see him. He was visibly agitated. Actually hollered at me. I had a nurse ask him a question and he wasn't really pleasant to him either. I know he's in end stage, so changes are to be expected. I did learn that they believe he has Sundowners and appears fearful, so they sit with him to try and reassure him. I also discovered that the doctor has decreased his medication at night. He has to be tapered down. Wondering if it's the Dementia or medication that is causing the agitation. Anyone else experience this at end stage? His appetite is also diminishing. Just wondering what to expect.
I have so much to learn and feel ashamed I did't step forward sooner to help. I had always been told I had more work at home that needed to come before others. I was needed at home. It hurts when a simple smile to those people meant so very much to their tomorrows.
A lot has been written about the stages of Alzheimer's, but very little about people like my mom who have multiple co-morbidities that confuse the whole timeline. I figure she has VaD due to what was seen on a previous MRI scan and her health history, but there may be a little ALZ as well. And she is being treated with sinemet for tremors and rigidity, but whether that is true Parkinson's is anybody's guess. Throw in some severe visual impairment and it becomes pretty difficult to stage as she has symptoms all over the scale.
Reading scared01 it sounds like he may be beyond stage 3 if he is not eating and is having problems with toileting. On my own front, I placed my wife in a memory care unit Jan 21st. She seems to be doing fine there. Myself, I can't get over the feeling that I took a dog to a pound. I miss her.
My Dad is stage 3, the ending, he uses a wheelchair, has to be told to go to the bathroom, has to be given food and drink, that he most times won't eat. He stutters , confused, sundowners, how sad it all is. I believe this part is the most heartbreaking, as he says "I don't know what is wrong with me, " he crys and gets frustrated. He thinks my Mom is still alive. He thinks he can drive, he has a vacant look on his face. I hate this Alzheimer's.
Thank you for giving us this wonderful information on the stages of Alzheimer's/Dementia, as a caregiver must know and understand what they and their loved one will be experiencing. As a caregiver, I am now facing the last stage and have just gotten Hospice's help for my godmother. I was very fortunate to be able to keep her at home with the help from a very dedicated Home Health Aide that is very knowledgeable working with Alzheimer's patients. Luckily my godmother had the financial means to afford this and the aide comes in every day, anywhere between 4-6 hours a day, and then a part time aide that comes in the evenings to help me get her ready for bed and also on the weekends. I really do not think I would have been able to handle all this on my own without their help, and I thank God everyday for that. However, it often makes we wonder how I and many others, who are not afforded the opportunity of having extra monies, what will happen, and will there be enough facilities to house all us baby boomers.
I have been diagnosed with early stage Alzheimers. I'm 83. My mother had it also. I particularly appreciated the description of the stages. I am going to try to plan some options for my care with my son and daughter-in-law while I am still functional.
This was a very good article! And yes, I, too, would worry terribly about being tested for thigns I have always had trouble with [egads! Count backwards by 7, for heaven's sake! I cannot even count _Forward_ by 7's!] It would be a good thing, too, to have better understanding how on earth a person can be diagnosed with dementia, if the peson has been behaving sorta like that for several decades....how can one figure if it's alcohol damage, and/or existing long-standing mental issues, or dementia of some kind, for instance.
I absolutely love this article.... Carl Bradley Bursack does a fantastic job of summarizing the "meat and potatoes" of this truly ugly disease. I lost my dad in December of 2013 and my mom is approaching the final stage. Carol is right, we want clear cut answers, direction, solutions and they just don't exist. Each person experiences this countdown in their own unique way and both my parents were and are aware, at times, that their world has made a complete turnaround.... My dad told me a couple of times that he was dying and my mom has told me several times that she wants to die.... she wants to be with my dad. Carol, this is the first time I have seen the stages of Alzheimer's Disease written to not only capture the reality of what is happening and what to expect, but to truly tap into some type of reality that caregiver's are searching for as we walk these final steps with our loves ones...
Sadly with my Mom it seemed like she went from Stage 1 memory loss to Stage 7 not wanting to eat in just 4 to 5 weeks, all due to a recent fall where she had hit her head on a kitchen counter... ouch. It's like I've been through a Cliff Note version of Alzheimer's/Dementia. Poor Dad still thinks Mom will be walking again and be back at home :(
If only my Mom would have accepted the caregivers to help her or if only she and Dad would have moved to Assisted Living [both are in their mid-90's] chances are she wouldn't be in this position right now. I tried to change their minds, wild horses couldn't pull them out of that house.
daughterofjan, I also meant to offer you a hug. This is so hard for a caregiver or family member to watch! Remember that the sweet kind father that you love is still in there, and also must be appalled and terrified and what is happening. I hope he returns gradually to his former baseline when the bronchitis is over and the meds are out of his system. But moving to another stage is a reality most of us do face. This is definitely Not Your Fault, and Not His Fault, either. Continue showing your love for the man he really is.
daughterofjan, three things can trigger progression in dementia:
A disease or infection -- anything from constipation to a uti to a cough to an itch can make dementia symptoms seem worse. This is temporary, and will subside (at least some) when the illness is cleared up.
A reaction to a drug. In almost all cases this is temporary and will clear up when the drug is discontinued.
A natural progression of the dementia disease itself. This is typically permanent (although there will still be good days and bad days).
I would work very hard on the possibility that this is temporary for your loved one, and talk to the doctor about a change in medications.
My dad appears to be in stage 6 now. Just last month he was this sweet, kind person that I know him as. He developed a cough that the doctor diagnosed as bronchitis and gave him meds. He now is upsetting all the tenants and caregivers in the memory care facility. Kicking, yelling, refusing meds and food. He's just agitated over many things that go on in the facility. He hit one of the attendants. I'm concerned that they will ask me to take him somewhere else. He's been there for just over a year and participated in the many activities through out the day. He never thought it was home, but he seemed to enjoy all the attention, food and activities that they had. Can they raise the rate now that he's combative? They say they use a point system for fee that is paid. He's now in #2 care. Is this common in memory care facilities? I'd like an idea what the facility may do now that he's had such a drastic change in his behavior. Will this be on his record and will I have a difficult time placing him elsewhere?
Very useful and informative article. Helped me understand the stages more clearly and what to expect as well. A very difficult time for all those affected by dementia/alzheirmer's disease. So much more to understand and learn. Educated ourselves is key I believe in getting a full understanding of what is involved and what other family members can do to help their loved ones during some difficulties times.
Just found the following youtubes about this--very good stuff. Makes it easier to see: youtube/watch?v=S4_Eu9EHy2Y#t=954 ; youtube/watch?v=LL_Gq7Shc-Y This is about an experimental way to preserve memory longer, in Alzheimer's: youtube/watch?annotation_id=540de9c9-0000-27fa-9cdb-001a114200c0&feature=iv&src_vid=LL_Gq7Shc-Y&v=qr0Ga9YKhtM
NOW...if Docs would just get-on-board with making the effort to properly diagnose, sooner! That could save family relations, allow settling affairs, prompt earlier caregiving interventions. What are Docs really waiting for? Every time a Doc piffles-off a patient or their family members who are concerned about their health, it increases the likelihood that the patient will fall through the cracks and increases likelihood of unnecessary illness or injury.
My mom was diagnosed with dementia over 10 years ago. Thank you for this article it breaks the stage down well. I think she is stage 6 close to stage 7. We will be going to the doctor soon. I hope he will be able to shed some light on what stage. He said I should look for a group home for my mom. I continue to pray for wisdom from God. My mom has many other medical issues too. No matter the headache and heart ache I am glad for the last few months we have been together. Thank you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
98 Comments
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First
The Stages of Alzheimer’s Disease
my mom passed with my sister and I by her side ... we knew she brought us into this wonderful world and we were not going to let her leave this world for heaven by herself.... the most humbling experience of my life....
The thing is, your mother doesn't need to "understand" this for you to take action. You need some time to yourself. Just do it. Don't wait for a person with dementia to understand something -- at any stage.
severe aortia stenosis. The heart doctors say there is nothing they can do for him. I have an appointment with his primary dr. tomorrow to get started with hospice.I have lots of questions ...I really need help! we have been married for 59 years.
It would be a good thing, too, to have better understanding how on earth a person can be diagnosed with dementia, if the peson has been behaving sorta like that for several decades....how can one figure if it's alcohol damage, and/or existing long-standing mental issues, or dementia of some kind, for instance.
If only my Mom would have accepted the caregivers to help her or if only she and Dad would have moved to Assisted Living [both are in their mid-90's] chances are she wouldn't be in this position right now. I tried to change their minds, wild horses couldn't pull them out of that house.
Hugs to you and to him.
A disease or infection -- anything from constipation to a uti to a cough to an itch can make dementia symptoms seem worse. This is temporary, and will subside (at least some) when the illness is cleared up.
A reaction to a drug. In almost all cases this is temporary and will clear up when the drug is discontinued.
A natural progression of the dementia disease itself. This is typically permanent (although there will still be good days and bad days).
I would work very hard on the possibility that this is temporary for your loved one, and talk to the doctor about a change in medications.
youtube/watch?v=LL_Gq7Shc-Y
This is about an experimental way to preserve memory longer, in Alzheimer's:
youtube/watch?annotation_id=540de9c9-0000-27fa-9cdb-001a114200c0&feature=iv&src_vid=LL_Gq7Shc-Y&v=qr0Ga9YKhtM
NOW...if Docs would just get-on-board with making the effort to properly diagnose, sooner! That could save family relations, allow settling affairs, prompt earlier caregiving interventions.
What are Docs really waiting for? Every time a Doc piffles-off a patient or their family members who are concerned about their health, it increases the likelihood that the patient will fall through the cracks and increases likelihood of unnecessary illness or injury.