How has caring for a loved one changed your perspective on your future care?

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Over half of adult children decide to add senior living communities to their personal list of potential care choices after guiding an aging parent through the process of picking and transitioning to a community, according to research presented last week at Life Care Services' 2012 Senior Living Summit.

One study, conducted by the American Seniors Housing Association, found that 89 percent of adult children help their elderly parents search for and transition into some kind of senior living community (independent living, assisted living, memory care, or skilled nursing).

A different survey, done by Mather LifeWays, a non-profit senior living organization, discovered that 95 percent of people whose elderly parents were residing in a senior living community of some kind planned on moving into an assisted living community themselves sometime in the future.

Caregivers want to save their own offspring from the pain and strife that they are currently going through with their elderly parents.

A recent AgingCare.com poll shows just how reluctant current caregivers are to pass on the burden of their care to sons and daughters.

Over 1,000 caregivers responded the question: "If you need help with future care, who would you want to be your caregiver?"

Nearly 45 percent said they plan on moving into a senior living community, while only about 12 percent reported expecting their children to take care of them.

On the AgingCare.com community forum, caregivers urge one another to plan for the future, using legal means (advanced directives, POA, wills, etc.) to secure their medical and financial wishes before they become incapacitated.

"I have told my own children repeatedly that when I get to the point that I cannot live on my own to put me in a facility. I do not want to become a burden or take away from their lives," says AgingCare.com member, djheichel.

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Some also offer suggestions for unique ways to prevent themselves from repeating the bad behaviors of their aging parents.


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One member, Meiho , tells the story of a friend who—after experiencing conflict with her aging parents—wrote herself a letter detailing the ways she should and shouldn't act when she got older. The friend sealed the letter and gave it to her daughter with instructions to give it back to her to read when the time was right.

Want to know how your fellow caregivers are preparing for the future—legally, financially and emotionally?

Take a look at these AgingCare.com discussions:

What can I do to be different from my parents when I get old?

Planning for when our children will have to be our caregivers