So often, I question, Why am I going through this? As a Christian, I'm not supposed to feel this way! She's still alive, so God must have a purpose for her. There is incredible guilt that goes along with those questions and feelings. I search some Christian care giving sites and found this little nugget to be encouraging. Thought I would pass it along. Basic info, but powerful if you just take a moment to meditate on it.
The Spiritual Aspects of Caregiving
Trust me! This may be painful but its for the best! God tells us that [w]hen you pass through the fire, you will not be burned. He wants us to remember that though fire burns, it also purifies. The Refiner wants believers to look at the positive aspects that caregiving offers:
A closer relationship with God
Trust in God
A sense that others are watching your faith in action
A more mature faith, purified by testing
The ability to face and handle negative emotions
Healing of previous hurts, especially involving family fallouts
I do not believe that God wants people to have dementia, get killed by drunk drivers, be raped, etc. God is certainly seeking to be with those who provide care and those who experience negative things. God does not stop all bad things from happening to Christians (and or others). Sometime what we or those we love experience is simply bad. It may also be sad and seemingly unfair. I believe in a God who weeps with those who weep and mourns with those who mourn. I believe in a God who can give us grace to handle every situation and the wisdom to add people to our team when needed.
I am an ordained minister, was a pastor for many years and now coach and consult with churches across the country. I also work with a church that recently launched an online campus - something which could be helpful to caregivers who cannot get to church for some reason -
I like the idea of a watcher. It gives me the feeling of there being someone else around who's there all the time, understands the situation completely and cares what I do. So when you're dog-tired, fed up and asking yourself if you can really be bothered to make your mother's bed properly so she'll sleep better, and hey it's not even like she'd notice, you don't also have to be the one who says "go on. Yes you can."
He could be a bit more forthcoming with the explanations, though, don't you think? I'm just saying...
I would describe myself as a caregiver in waiting. Slowly assuming the task bit by bit- that is assuming I don't need the care first.
I read what some of you in fact most of you are enduring and hope it never comes to that but then I look at the news and see women clutching their babies and running through the streets in Syria and other countries trying to dodge the bullets. I think of the extreme fear of someone facing a home intruder or the peasants in the path of an invading army knowing what their fate will be and it wont be quick. I know why snipers in the Vietnam war ended their own lives rather than face capture. How would one feel to be driving a car over a bridge and feel it collapsing beneath our wheels.
We have one weapon with which to fight these fears and that is courage. Courage is what allows caregivers to give of their best at whatever the cost to themselves. Faith supports courage. Love supports courage. Would you rather be caring for that shriveled old woman in the bed screaming obscenities who used to be the loving mother who nurtured you and supported you in good times and bad or the poor terrified Indian girl on the bus raped with a stick thrust deep in her belly causing her death. The point I am trying to make is that there is always someone worse off than you and you can only do your best and that is always good enough. there are forces out there bigger than we are whether we have a religious belief or not. Why did the bus driver stop his bus on the bridge at that moment and pull the suicidal woman to safety. he had courage and she still has a purpose in life. Why was the bus five minutes late when my Mom and I were going into town during WW 11 and we heard an unmanned German bomb go over head. Five minutes later our bus drove by the ruined house where the bomb had landed. Why did that happen? Why does anything happen. This probably does not make a great deal of sense but that post raised so many thoughts and questions.
Just a thought:
People are living longer. Is that because God made some people so smart that they invent biological resources that prolong life? Or, are they out smarting God with their scholastic skills?
Fear keeps us here on earth...