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"It seems horrible",
GOD BLESS THE USA
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there have been weeks of family holiday stress stories on this site . im older and alone now and i dont bother with any holiday expectations .
that doesnt make me a jaded old grinch and an ' under the table , uninsured cowboy builder ' is really pulling things out of your azz .

now if you called me a mischievious old man up on the hill who likes to wind people up just for free entertainment and a few laughs , i would probably agree with that .

happy holidays to everyone . dont let anybody tell you how to celebrate them ( or not ) .
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Polar, I read it on a site about energy saving where the poster said it was a habit he knew he had to stop. Perhaps it was fake – who knows? PS I'm still surprised about where this thread keeps going?
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"...Or reading about people in the USA turning on the shower so that the water runs warm, then going back to bed and going to sleep!"

Really? I have never heard of such a thing. Where I live (in USA) people in general try to conserve water and energy as evidenced by our toilets using less than a gallon per flush. People are encouraged to take 5 minute showers to save water. If such a thing as you said really happened, it was done by some idiot or it was made up. There is such thing as fake news.

In my family and extended family, we haven't traded gifts for many years now. Only the kids get gifts. No commercialization of the holidays, at least not in my family circle.
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Hi Gershun, sometimes it’s hard to tell. The big difference in Oz is no Halloween (only the last couple of years we’ve had children’s costumes in the shops) and no Thanksgiving. Christmas is fairly commercial, although there is a push for Christmas dinner to be seafood and salad. However I sometimes discover amazing things that come as a surprise; eg the last time I went to see rellies in the UK, I was appalled to find that the sound system in supermarkets was all advertisements. Barry Manilow is quite bad enough! Or reading about people in the USA turning on the shower so that the water runs warm, then going back to bed and going to sleep! South Australia is the driest state in the driest continent – you can pick us in a caravan park bathroom because we turn the tap off while cleaning our teeth – so it was hard to believe. Differences can be unexpected sometimes.

I thought that this lovely poem might get things back on track:

The Maid-Servant at the Inn, by Dorothy Parker

"It's queer," she said; "I see the light
As plain as I beheld it then,
All silver-like and calm and bright ---
We've not had stars like that again!

"And she was such a gentle thing
To birth a baby in the cold.
The barn was dark and frightening ---
This new one's better than the old.

"I mind my eyes were full of tears,
For I was young, and quick distressed
But she was less than me in years
That held a son against her breast.

"I never saw a sweeter child ---
The little one, the darling one! ---
I mind I told her, when he smiled
You'd know he was his mother's son.

"It's queer that I should see them so ---
The time they came to Bethlehem
Was more than thirty years ago;
I've prayed that all is well with them."
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GOD BLESS THE USA!

Logging out until this thread is deleted.
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I have to say that I am startled, to say the least, about the way this thread has developed since I started it. I was sympathetic to the many posters who seem to have a difficult time with Halloween, Thanksgiving and then Christmas /Hanukkah all coming a few weeks apart. I’m used to dealing with Christmas, but I’m glad to miss Halloween and Thanksgiving. We all know that the original reason for many holidays has faded or has been hijacked commercially, here in Oz as well as in the USA. It is a real struggle to stick to the things that matter – friendship, generosity to those in need, keeping workable links with family and old friends. CM, the Lord of Misrule still lives on to supervise Office parties! Captain, even thinking about the season clearly triggers anger and resentment for you, which is such a pity.

I had friends who went camping over Christmas, with a rule that all presents had to be made on the spot from natural materials – OK a bit of sticky tape etc was supplied. They said that the thought that went into it made it the best Christmas ever. I’m still looking for ways to celebrate Christmas that will bring a smile, peace and joy, which I wish to all of us.
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Holidays have grown extremely difficult for me .. and something I actually have a strategy to get through.

I am one of those "lonely ones". who no longer have family. My Dad passed last April, my mom is still around but in memory care and doesn't really realize holidays.. I lost relationships with all my siblings when my Dad died last April.. They were MIA but when they did show up.. they managed to harass me and hated/blamed me for everything concerning my parents.

Needless to say... I am spending all holidays alone this year (other then visiting my mom in memory care). My strategy is to simply ignore the holidays.. I dont watch TV.. and I am treating the holidays as just another day.. and trying to enjoy my day off as much as possible.

Maybe at some point I can find a new routine where I can start enjoying holidays.. away from any family connections of course.. but for this year.. that is my strategy.. I fear that if I did any thing else.. and tried to "be happy".. it would put too much stress on me and catapult me deeper into depression.

I do feel there is a lot of pressure to have happy family connections.. and to be happy.. and if you aren't in that place...it is a tough time of year to get through.
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Having said that, for those of us who volunteer in helping in women’s shelters like Tacy and I have and know the personal details where it has been proven where the man is unequivocally wrong, there is no debating the issue, nor is it a joke in any sense. It’s a tragic situation.
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Well, Captain. I happen to be sorry for everyone that gets hurt. Tacy is right. You don’t get to pick and choose. Just look at it fairly. It’s easy to become jaded if we get hurt but at some point we have to step back and simply be fair and objective.
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ive been played for masonry work and home repairs and then brutally shoved aside . pretty devious business there but a great learning experience .
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Gershun,

Don’t know! Sorry.
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i reckon i was just trying to say that both guys and girls really have their work cut out for them if theyre trying to find a mate with good values .
its a sht show out there .

i dont think girls or women should play the crowd to a frenzy and then break everything off after their ego's have been maxed out and theyve played everyone for money , food , entertainment , and exitement either . its trashy as sht .
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How did a nice thread asking about Christmas and the holiday season escalate into this conversation. Ye Gads!
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Captain,

Then you should understand. Those things should never have happened to your son, EVER!
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Yes, everyone should be asked, regardless of gender. The molestation of young boys is sickening, whether it’s priests, Boy Scout leaders, etc. Young boys need to be guarded just as much as young girls. The people who commit these horrible crimes don’t quit. They are sick. They can’t be rehabilitated. They need to be locked up in jails or mental institutions.
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Captain,

Honestly, even if a woman had no clothes on at all, a man NEVER has the right to touch her, EVER! You can’t blame the victims.

You also can’t excuse men for behaving inappropriately, blackmailing or committing crimes.
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I have two daughters. Both have been assaulted. It’s scary. My oldest was walking down a very nice section of St. Charles Ave. here in New Orleans and a guy knocked her down so hard that when she hit the pavement a bone was broken near her eye. He took her backpack and ran. When she filed the police report the cop told her that he most likely couldn’t get her stuff back but would do his best to catch him. There are cameras everywhere! Outside cameras on businesses, etc. He was caught!

My younger daughter had a crazy boyfriend. The day he put his hands around her neck, she left him! He was a spoiled ‘momma’s boy’ that expected her to do the same. When she didn’t he couldn’t handle it. His mom even called me to speak to my daughter to tell her to give him his way!

I told her that my daughter was over 18 and made her own choices and to never call me and ask me to interfere again. Thank God she broke up with him. I can’t imagine her having him as a mate or having to deal with her for a MIL!
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Captain,

I have a sense of humor but trust me, any female that has been molested or raped won’t find the story about your neighbor the least bit entertaining.

Kids experiment but a man who forces himself on a young girl or woman is a totally different story. A life changing situation that is never forgotten and is never a joke. Any young girl or woman should receive justice because it’s a crime.

Unfortunately, it’s the most unreported crime because women haven’t felt safe coming forward. That’s changing some and I hope that one day now women will ever fear reporting any crime.

By the way, the same goes for young boys who are molested. I hope they get justice for the crime committed against them.
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Captain,

It’s a serious accusation and should have to be proven. Sometimes it is a false accusation. Other times, the father is a child molester and the mom isn’t able to provide proof and he gets away with it. Very complicated and sad. The poor kid is caught in the middle and suffers horribly.
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Tacy,

I just said that I know there is abuse and I have volunteered with shelters too. But I do know that sadly, there are false accusations too. Hopefully, they are rare.

All of us know people who have been abused or abused ourselves. I absolutely did not deny that.

There are two sides though. Nothing wrong with pointing that out. Not saying it’s true with the woman that you are helping. I think it’s wonderful that you are helping her.

I can’t stand when women falsely accuse a man. Firstly because it’s wrong to do that to a man. Secondly, it makes it a million times harder for women who truly were abused to be believed. It’s terrible all around.
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im listening .
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You’re on a roll, Captain!

Captain, sadly there are false accusations but you are smart enough to know that there is also horrible abuse as well.

What you just described is true in some cases and happened recently over a football game! My daughter attends LSU. For the first time in eight years LSU beat Bama. Well, a Bama fan and an LSU fan got into it.

First of all, those schools are huge rivals. Nick Sabin used to be LSU’s coach before going with Bama. There is always tension at their games. My daughter sells her tickets for that game, makes a ton of money and stays out of the chaos.

There was a tragic ending after this year’s game. The Bama guy killed the LSU guy who had a fiancé and a young child. How horrible is that? Then what did the Bama guy do? Punched himself hard in the eye to make it look like self defense. Didn’t work! The guy is charged with murder!

Insane to kill someone in the first place! Even more insane to kill someone over a football game!

Hey, I am glad the New Orleans Saints beat the Falcons yesterday but I can’t imagine killing over loosing a game. It’s a freakin game! How can someone take someone’s life over a game? Just crazy!
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My kids and their families seldom come to our house Christmas. We live hours away, and there are others they would rather be with. It saddens me, but I don't want them to come either if that's how they really feel. But they know I love them anyway.

In the weeks before Christmas you won't find Dear Husband and I in crowded parking lots wandering through malls and stores. I get a single token gift (inexpensive but thoughtfully chosen, purchased locally or online ) for my children and grandchildren. Dear Husband and I do not exchange gifts. I put up an eensy 12" Christmas tree and a tiny lit garland in the entrance area of our house. I send out dozen Christmas cards and get back 2. Doesn't matter. I love sending Christmas cards. Some years if I feel like it, I'll bake a few goodies to give to friends and neighbors. We listen to classical Christmas music to celebrate the reason for the season, which warms my soul like nothing else. Christmas eve we'll watch a favorite holiday-themed movie. On the big day, Dear Husband and I have a small home-cooked meal together with a pumpkin pie. Later we might bundle up and take a walk.

This is our Christmas now, 21st Century style. No, it's not 1962 with a Douglas fir sweeping the ceiling, loads of gifts, 40 Christmas cards and a big family dinner. On the other hand, there's no stress, no big expense, or days of decorating to put up and take down. Just simple Christmas joys.

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate the birth of Christ.
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ive been thrown in jail 3 times in my life . if i were the cop I'D have thrown me in jail .

no hard feelings from me . no blameshifting , no half truths , lies of omission , etc .

i once told my probation officer that dollar for dollar probation is cheaper than therapy -- so -- lets do this sht -- .

told another that i was gonna go out to the hatchery and fk fish for community service . he bout spit his teeth out on the desk .

ahhh , good times ..,.
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" crockpot cats ? "

yea i know there are some genuinely disadvantaged people in this world . theres a lot of assclowns too .

the freedom challenged i work with all feel nitpicked by the courts too -- but -- they are forgetting that i know how to read . their official charges have been reduced to the most serious charge but a closer look at different public records will show all kinds of dropped charges and general ' failure to repair ' -- along with a history of recidivism .

they aint putting people in prison for singing too loud in the church choir .
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Gershun,

My cat was an attack cat! She was loving, sweet and gentle, but let a dog step into my yard and my brave cat would chase them off! First time I saw her do that I was shocked.

She was quite intimidating to a dog or she didn’t meet her match. The dogs she encountered were wusses because they ran off with their tail between their legs. So funny! My neighbors would call her the neighborhood attack cat.

The little dog that I owned, mini schnauzer, thought she was a giant dog and was the sassiest thing! My big dog, that I owned, a rescued greyhound was a big baby and ran away from my daughter’s toy French poodle. Hahaha

Animals are so funny. Each has their own personality.
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I agree, tacy. If you know where to look there are many worthy charities. I have donated and collected donations from others to deliver to the women’s shelters here too.
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Just keep being you Cap. Just don't come after my cats! You'd eat cats too right? You don't discriminate............
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Don’t you think it’s funny how we have a ‘national day’ for everything?

It’s entertaining at least! Kind of ridiculous too. But there is a day that everything is recognized. What a marketing strategy, huh?

National donut day

Wine day! Okay, I’ll bite for that one! Specials on wine!

Coffee Day, ‘Why yes, I will take a free cup of coffee!’ They know people will buy a pastry to go with that coffee. Hahaha

Ice cream day!

The list goes on and on.
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