Don't know what happened to the "my whine moment?" I am having a self pity party and need someplace safe to share.

I am having a self pity party. This is going to be lengthy, but I need someplace safe to share. Starting at 15 I was forced to pay my parents mortgage for them, it was a small dumpy house. I was paying the family's groceries and breaking up their fights and forced to take sides. Meanwhile suffering physical and verbal abuse and always living under the threat of being thrown out. Later as an adult I took care of my father in his last days, after no one else would. Not that he deserved it, I just felt it was the right thing. I'm a doormat. I also gave my brother and mother cash out of my pocket from his estate, around $35K even though my father made no provisions for them and they did NOTHING to help. I did it, so they could think fondly of him instead of always having so much bitterness. I shouldn't have, because it wasn't appreciated. During that time my mother was upset at his funeral because it wasn't about her, the attention was on him and she felt he didn't deserve it. Jesus, the man died. I was engaged to a wonderful man and I told him to stay away from my mother because she was toxic. Men never believe me..... which is one reason why I have struggled with relationships, she acts sweet around them and then begins to tell them things about me that are untrue. When they believe her, it destroys my relationship. Now years later, I have my mother in my home. As some of you know she has NPD and is abusive. I felt sorry for her and thought she had mellowed and let her move in after years of her begging me. Before she had moved in, I also found myself taking care of my little brother in some way, shape or another. Never received a thank you, not once. Then when I wouldn't let him move into my rental property, the entire family was upset with me. Mind you, I had given him cash from my dad's estate (my own money actually), fixed his truck (when he wrecked it), kept it running, gave him a couple hundred bucks here or there. Gave him a computer after he stopped paying on his storage unit and the list goes on. Finally, I had to tell him, I wish you the best but I just can't do it anymore. I'm sorry, but I have to look after myself. Then my mother moved in 2015 and that was an immediate mistake, struggling to get her out one way or another and recently had to call the police and have been talking to attorneys. Here in the South you take care of your parents, so I haven't been well received by lawyers. In 2018 my dog was diagnosed with cancer. For the last 30 months he has needed medicines and special care every 2 hours, 7 days a week for the last 30 months and he will continue to for the rest of his life which could be another 10 years. He's very clingy and needy. My mother was helping with his care, I will give her that, but every time she is upset, which is weekly, she withdraws her help. That's always her punishment for me. Withdrawing any help whether it's help cooking or paying for groceries - it's always a punishment. Mom could easily live well into her late 90's (that side of her family does), my dog could live for another 10 years, and I really LOVE my dog, but I'm 54 years old, I don't want to spend the next 20 - 25 years taking care of someone or something else. I 100% come last! I also work full time and have a house and pool to take care of. This may sound selfish but I am sick to death of taking care of someone or something else my entire life, I don't want to do this until I just drop dead. Feeling so depressed and sad. :(