Tips for hiring a caregiver.
Many of us have personally cared for our family members at home. Some people continue to care for their family members at home, while others decide their family members are in need of facility care.
Please consider placing your family member in a facility if they are no longer safe at home or if their care has become an extremely burdensome situation for you as their caregiver.
This post is not meant to be a debate about facility care versus home care. People must choose what they feel is appropriate for their individual circumstances.
I thought it would be helpful for new posters to learn from our experiences.
Several of our posters have either worked for caregiving agencies or have been private caregivers. Please share your experiences with us!
Some of our posters now operate their own caregiver agencies. I would love for them to chime in on this thread!
In many cases, it becomes overwhelming to care for a family member by ourselves and then we are faced with hiring outside help through an agency or someone who does independent, private caregiving for the individual in need of assistance.
Please share your tips on what you found to be successful when hiring a caregiver for your family member.
Weird, right? Cuddling a client with a baby bottle is pushing a caregiver past their limits! LOL 😆
Caregivers do have to be very careful. I seem to remember a criminal case that involved a man who pretended to be his mother to hire ‘help’ for her son with bathing. The son was a pervert! He ended up getting caught. He was pretending to be disabled.
I can’t remember the exact details of the case but he was found guilty.
Isn’t that crazy that she wanted the caregiver to get on her hands and knees to clean? That’s nuts.
This woman was so sweet to my mom. I would have never expected her to do crazy stuff like get on her hands and knees.
She would play cards with my mom, drink coffee or tea with my mom and chat with her. My mom loved her. They formed a special bond. She was very patient with my mom.
Mom was very slow due to her Parkinson’s disease and my mother told me that she never once rushed her when she was bathing her or helping her get dressed. That meant so much to my mother and to me.
I never liked being idle either. I always offered cleaning and anything like that. Never a problem. Light housekeeping is usually part of the job. Homecare can be very competitive. No one wants to get complaints or lose a position because they don't appear to be busy every moment of their shift.
You'd be surprised how many clients and families complain to an agency if they don't see the caregiver running around until their shift is over.
I got a complaint a couple weeks ago from a client's daughter about one of mine. She was accusing her of being lazy and doing poor work because the floor wasn't cleaned to her satisfaction and that she was on her phone when the client was watching tv. So, I made a home visit during her shift.
The floor appeared clean enough to me and everything else looked in good order. The daughter showed me the bucket and scrub brush she wanted used. She expected the aide to get down on her hands and knees and scrub a warn out, permanently stained linoleum floor that had to be down for probably 50 or 60 years.
I told her the caregiver would not be cleaning the floors this way. Then I reminded her that as POA for her mother, she is her legal representative and signed a contract agreeing to what the aide's housekeeping duties are to the client. Those duties do not include scrubbing floors by hand or any kind of heavy-duty cleaning. No yard work, windows, cleaning out basements. She's not going to stand at the sink washing a week's worth of dishes either because the daughter (who lives there with her husband and adult son) thinks her mother's caregiver there to clean up after her lazy a$$ along with her hubs and son as well as helping the mother.
I haven't heard any complaints since I went out there. I know what it's like to be in that aide's position with a client's family and I'm not having it.
God bless you for treating your mom's help with respect and kindness. So many don't.
When you treat the help right, they treat you right.
It is absolutely ridiculous to have unreasonable expectations though, like feeding and cuddling an elderly person with a baby bottle!
One time, our caregiver saw me mopping my kitchen floor and offered to do it.
My mom had fallen asleep and she said that she didn’t mind doing my mopping and vacuuming.
I told her that I appreciated her offer but that I would finish cleaning.
I told her to help herself to something to eat and drink and to just relax while my mom was napping.
She had already tidied up my mom’s room. I don’t think she liked being idle.
She was a self motivated person. I never had to remind her of anything. She was terrific with my mother and very kind to me.
I know that the agency told me not to pay her extra but I gave her extra anyway. She was a single mom.
When a caregiver is agency hired they are supposed to be given a written care plan of what their duties and responsibilities are. They are not expected to do anything ridiculous or that they are uncomfortable with. Also, when a caregiver agency is used, you do not interview the caregivers for positions. The agency does.
If you're hiring privately and paying privately, there's no one laying out a care plan for the caregiver and you would be interviewing and hiring the caregivers directly.
As for the "copping an attitude", You have no idea what gets asked of in-home caregivers. I once was sent on an agency assignment. It was for elderly man with dementia. His daughter explained that he didn't drink enough so could I make him a baby bottle. Sure, not a problem until the other part of her request was could I hold him like a baby and feed him the bottle.
I asked her if she did this for him and she said no because she's his daughter.
Yet she saw nothing wrong with asking me and I'd only have to do it if he was being "fussy".
I told her that I wasn't a prostitute who caters fetishes and if they want such care they should hire one but insurance won't pay for it. Then I left.
You have no idea what gets asked of us.
@venting
Homecare is an easy job to get. Most agencies jobs are crap that pay minimum wage and will hire anyone. Don't expect the cream of the crop.
Families should maybe take some responsibility for securing valuables. Put away credit cards, checkbooks. jewelry, cash, etc...
People who hire housecleaners lock up valuables. Yet when they're hiring a caregiver for their elderly LO with dementia, many think it should be perfectly safe to leave a wad of cash on the kitchen table, or credit cards out, or grandma's diamond ring in a coffee cup.
Years ago I knew a caregiver whose client was a bedbound, non-verbal invalid with end-stage dementia. She was also dripping in expensive gold and diamond jewelry at all times in the bed. This woman had grown kids. They were indifferent (had valid reasons) but do you leave jewelry on a bedbound invalid who can't communicate?
One day she had to go to the hospital it was suspected that the caregiver relieved her of all that jewelry. It could have been anyone. The paramedics, the nurses in the ER, who knows?
A couple months later the caregiver and her kid moved out of the ghetto they lived in and into a nice, two-bedroom modeluar home in a quiet town with good schools.
The family blew a gasket over the jewelry. They really should have taken some precautions though. They were just as responsible for their mother's jewelry getting ripped off as the thief or thieves were.
That is sad. There are good and bad workers in every profession.
This is why I posted this discussion. It would help new posters to find out what they found to be helpful when hiring a caregiver from an agency or a private caregiver.
I got into homecare when I was young in my 20's. My then SIL had a couple of clients and she was making very good money at it because she was private duty. She got me in touch with my first clients. This was great because at the time I was making minimum wage at a job I hated. I didn't need insurance benefits from a job because I was covered on my husband's insurance. So this was perfect for me. I made more money part-time on a private caregiving job then I did at my full-time job.
I was good at it because I have a good work ethic. It's job. It was never a "calling" for me the way some people think it is. I find in my long experience most of the people who work as CNA's HHA's or homemaker/companions aren't working in it because it's some kind of calling to them. Volunteers who will spend an hour playing with a demented elder or reading to a sick person don't actually do any of the real work so for them it's a calling. For them it's because they love helping people. For the people who have to do the actual work and get the abuse when the client wants to lash out, for us it's just part of the job.
Most caregivers started out like me. They took a job that was easy to get that sometimes paid better than what you've got going on. Some do a bit of homecare hours on the side from their regular full-time jobs.
The quality of work a caregiver wants to put in is up to them. I always gave a hundred percent. Every client I ever had was well cared for. I learned fast not to take abuse and that every aspect of a client's needs are not my responsibility. Caregivers burn out quick when they think they have to be everything to every client. They don't.
That’s a great question! One of my mother’s caregivers took care of her mom as a young girl. Her dad was the primary caregiver. She helped him.
Her mom died when she was quite young. She said that was why she went into caregiving. She was excellent! My mom loved her. So did I. She was very good at her job, plus she was a very kind person who truly cared about others.
I was just thinking about how some family members try to take advantage of their children as their caregivers. Sometimes, they expect too much from them.
Why would tips on hiring in-home care mention whether or not a family member living in the house pays rent or chips in for utilities?
This has nothing to do with hiring a caregiver and will have no bearing on the caregiver's work ethic nor will it influence the quality of care the client receives. I have worked for many care clients that had the weird adult child living at home who didn't work or do anything. I never took that upon myself to question. I did my job and minded my business.
It's fine to be friendly with your clients and their family members, but not too friendly. There is such a thing as professional friendliness. The way a therapist or social worker is friendly to clients. You're supposed to care about the clients in a professional context. Not personally. There are boundaries that caregivers and care recipients are not supposed to cross. This is why care agencies do not allow clients to call caregivers directly.
Working as an in-home caregiver is very different than working as one in a facility. Homecare is often with a client hours a day or they live in their house.
People going into homecare should fully inderstand what the proper caregiver/client relationship is supposed to be. Homecare workers often get all the accolades from clients and families alike on how much their LO loves us and that they consider us "family". No one should ever take that too seriously.
An in-home caregiver is not a friend or a family member. They are first and foremost, a domestic servant.
I have had countless family members over the years who would literally be in tears telling me that they don't know what they'd do without me. Until they found cheaper help or got insurance to pay for the service. Then all the praise and love for the caregiver and them being considered "family" disappears like leprechaun gold in the sunlight.
So caregivers should not take praise and accolades from clients or their families to heart.
Being a caregiver is a job. It should be considered as such. Either a person has a good work ethic or they don't. Those who consider it a "calling" or think there's a halo appearing above their head usually end up not very good at it and don't do it for long. When the praise and gratitude they're expecting turns out to be a rude, ingrate, entitled senior brat they burn out quick.
Great advice! I totally agree with hiring more than one caregiver to manage full time care. It’s impossible for one person to do everything!
When using an agency, what a possible client should look at is how much the starting pay is for their caregivers. If an agency is secretive about this kind of information, don't use them. Do they offer raises? What percentage of caregivers are full-time?
Agencies who only hire part-time and pay minimum have no respect for their caregivers or the work they do. These places will hire anyone.
I always say you get what you pay for. Observe the appearance of their caregivers. People can't help what they look like, but they can certainly choose how they present themselves. Caregivers should be wearing either a company uniform or fresh, clean scrubs. They should not have ridiculously long, bejeweled nails or outlandish hairstyles that look like they should be powdered and have a boat put in them.
The company boss or a supervisor should go on the caregiver's first day to present them and reassure client and family.
Hiring privately has different advantages. Like pay negotiation. Since an agency isn't taking a cut, the worker gets all of it. So that means better care for the client.
If one of my girls takes a side-hustle care job, I don't have a problem with that. Most agencies do, I don't. If it interferes with the care they're doing for my clients, they're out and they aren't covered under the company liability for work done on their time.
You can also do your own backround and reference checks. You can be very choosy about who you hire.
There are disadvantages though. Most private caregivers don't cover liability insurance on themselves so if your LO gets hurt or something happens to the home, there's no one to sue. Most agencie have loopholes in their contracts too so even if there is a suit they're not on the hook for very much.
Private caregivers usually want to get paid in cash. If such is the case, literally pay in cash money. No checks, no paper trail. This protects both the client and caregiver. Please, no need for anyone to chime in with any sanctimonious preaching about such a set-up. This is the world of homecare. Many times it's the only way if insurance doesn't cover costs.
Never hire just one person to provide 24-hour care. Always hire more than one. Let no worker make a client's home their official address. Having one 'live-in' can be a Pandora's Box for a family. A real nightmare ending in courtrooms, lawyers, and evictions.
When it's time for placement, it's time for placement. There Usually comes a time unless the client dies at home where the are beyond what homecare can provide. They need to go into managed facility care.
Most of the families I've known over the years did the best they could for their LO's care. They couldn't give up their jobs and go bankrupt, then sacrifice their families, marriages, homes and lives. It's not sustainable in the real world. Keeping an elder who's already lived their life "at home" is not worth this level of sacrifice.
Yet this level of sacrifice is usually what's expected.
No one should have shame or guilt for doing what they have to do. Sometimes that's putting a LO into facilty care.
For instance, my parents' caregiver wanted to buy her own home. She was saving her money for that. That's where my parents' money went as she cared for them. Extra gifts of money for special occasions were much appreciated (rather than giving her something she'd never use). Welcoming her family to visit was good because she was away from them so much caregiving 24/7. They were all smiles, never intrusive, and always brought a little gift to my parents (a flower, candy, nothing major). We employed her for almost 6 years.
Happy caregiver = happy LO.
Determine your needs.
Independent caregiver or home an agency?
Provide fair compensation.
Schedule and conduct a caregiver interview with candidates.
Don’t skip background checks.
Understand the cost of in-home caregiving.
Discuss a plan of care for your family member.
Sign a contract for caregiver services.
I would like to add that family members can and should be paid for their caregiver services if they are the primary caregiver. If a family member is living with them, the family member should pay rent, chip in for utilities, food, etc.
Please share any additional useful information with new caregivers.
Thanks,
NHWM