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This is not a question post but just a "talk" that some of you might be interested in. I visited my father recently in his new facility. Each time I go, I cry when I get home. He is doing well for his age and issues but I can see the decline. One of the things that have been said many times on this forum is that we did not make them old. Getting older is a blessing and a privilege. My therapist told me once that I'm a "fixer". She was right. I think I can fix everything or at least try but I can't fix my father getting older. All I know is that it hurts. I did not have a happy childhood and I still have issues because of it but it still hurts me to see him decline. I do not have any siblings so I'm alone in all of this. I'm so thankful for this forum and I apologize if I'm posting this in the wrong place. If anyone feels like me, chime in. Maybe we can help each other.

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I plan to avail myself of MAID while I am still able, timing that is the hard part. Witnessing my parents linger way longer than they should, with my mother finally dying at 95 in June, and my father still lingering with no end in sight in the nursing home and soon to be 96, I'd rather be dead.

Lingering in poor health is not a privilege, it is a curse.
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Personally, I dread the prospect of lingering in a bleak facility with dementia, crapping in a diaper, and chronic ageing maladies worsening. The wonderful classic and inspiring movie "Harold and Maude" sounds like a pretty good plan to me. I'm only 75 now, so I may change my mind later.
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I truly understand. When my parents got very sick, I didn't see a long decline with them. They were sick, and probably lasted a few months and they were gone.
Looking at my aunt, it really makes me not want to get old. She's lingering and immobile and dependent with limited family around. She's never had children, like myself. I don't want to be this way. It's really made me think hard about aging. Aging is cruel. I said it.
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@Anxietynacy,
I have also seen people linger for years. I think some people want to and then I have heard some say they do not want to linger once they get to certain point. My dad has said that he wants everything done medically for him that can be done and if that if he becomes severally ill, and there is nothing more they can do, he would rather go on. So the decision is in my hands and it would be hard one even though I know his wishes.
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I agree it hurts. Part of that hurt, for me, is realizing that I, too, am getting older. While there are things I like about getting older, the really painful part is realizing most of my life is behind me and constantly having to witness the deaths of my family and friends. It reminds me to be grateful for each day I have.
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This is a good ongoing discussion for that section of the forum: Discussions. Lots to discuss on this topic for sure.
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