I am surviving Day by Day.

Overload, I just started on a medication to help me with the panic attacks.

It's hard when you tell yourself that you can do everything that needs to be done for an elderly love one, but your body says no you can't!

I didn't even recognize what a panic attack was, but after the second episode of throwing up, shaking, sweating, diarrhea, and guilt thoughts. I had to figure out what was happening too me. Each time it took three days in bed to get back to a so called normal.

I finally went to the Dr. to get some help and did get a prescription that seems to help. So far no more attacks.

I think we want to deal with, solve all the problems, and make the best decisions for our loved one, but we can't fix them. That's the real problem for me. My mother will only get worse. She's 80 and in bad bad health.

It's a process, each step has to be handled as it comes and my panic comes from questioning myself as to, can I do this? It's scary, it's confining, it takes over your life. It's making the important decisions for someone that we have always looked to to help US make our life decisions.

Those decisions include Medical decisions that can't be left to Dr.'s & Nurses. We have to monitor their care in hospitals, nursing homes, assisted care homes etc. There's no training for this, we just do the best we can not knowing if the decisions are the best.

Then the loved one doesn't think our decision is the best for them. God help us we just keep trying everyday.

The one thing I have learned is to listen to the social workers, and others who have seen other people like us go through this. If you need help see a Dr. and I pray for strength.

Love to All

Last night I read an excellent article right here on this site about the different stages, called "How Can You Recognize the Stages of Alzheimer's?" by Carol Bradley Bursack. It's probably the best articles I've seen anywhere. Thank you Carol for posting it. It seems the more I read, the more it helps accept and understand my parent's needs. It answers so many questions to which I didn't have answers, and also comforts.

Sounds like some type of dementia or Alzheimer's

Just out of curiosity was she diagnosed with Dementia or Alzheimers? If she's having mood swings or diagnosed with a specific issue that declines with time, I think Anne is right. Do the research. It really does help prepare you for what comes next.

Crying is okay. I wish I had more alone time to do it, but when I have I've cried so hard I've puked (sorry for bluntness). God comforts me and I get on with the tasks I need to do.

Sorry to ask this and maybe I missed it in another posting, but do you have anyone that can help give you a bit of relief?

Thanks I can't be honest with others they don't understand.

Glad you wrote. You're not alone. Yes, these are stages, and will pass to the next stage. Google stages. The more you read, the more you'll understand, and the more equipped you'll be to deal with the stress. At least you'll know what to expect.

Turn to God. He will help like no medicine can. Crying OK. It's a wonderful relief from stress and pain and a natural way to cleanse. God sees your tears and hears your pain. He also sees your heart to care for your parents. If you ask, he'll help. Praying for you.