OH MY LORD I JUST GOT MY CAREGIVER'S BILL AND IT'S $963.00 for 1 week. I'm paying $20.95 an hour. I'm cutting her down to 3 days a week @ 8 hours and that's that.
Do what you can. Look at your circumstance and do what you can. I recommend if finances are an issue and timing, please have a family discussion with all who is involved. Try and convey the importants on the transition, and there will be many, and work through the situations. Don't take it all upon yourself.
i take care of my 65 year old husband who was diagnosed 3 years ago with alzhemiers. No help. I feel i am letting him down but doing all i can. primary care doc says he does not need to see him but I feel he needs to be seen by a doctor. Also I need to know what stage he is in. what do I do?
Hi Shai, tx for ur feedback. We are using caregivers private & senior service thru local county services. Been doing this for just over 3 yrs for M & D, both have alz/dementia. Just looking to find out if there is a govt agncy that oversess these agencies providing services to the senior people/community
Yep it's expensive, but they all say keep them at home as long as you can. Good thing the gov't passed a law (not sure if it Fed or State) that nursing homes have to show a grade like restaurants do now.
I don't know where your caregiver is from; an independent or from an agency but you might want to consider looking into Comfort Keepers. A co-worker in Floriday recommended them to me I've used them in the past and they were "reasonable" and have a rate table they use based on the total hours you need a caregiver; the more hours you need them, the lower the hourly rate. I know when I used them this summer (in NJ) they also had a 3 hour minimum shift.
Not sure if that helps but in general home care is expensive. I definitely recall doing the math for what I would have LIKED to have put in place for my grandmother and realizing I didn't have (nor does she have) an extra $4000.00 a month to spend on homecare.
I am living in the home of a 93 year old man and cooking and campionship 24/7. I get a few hours to myself in the am but he obviously wants more attention. I take him to doctors appointments, shopping, etc. He feels room and board are enough of a payment for being there. I'm beginning to feel like a prison with no compensation. Is this the way it's suppose to be?
How's it going g/f...have you seen any of the rain from this wierd system coming in?
I pay 20 bucks an hour 20 hours a week so my bill is now over a thousand every month....and will soon go up...I am going to add some more hours...but also the caregiver said she could also do some time in the evening on her own time...YEAH..bless her heart!!!!
Well here it is Saturday morning. I've stayed away from my mom's house, (and my sister's family that live there) since Monday.
I get a call from my mom this morning and she ask me if I can come and watch her on Monday. I ask what happened to the care giver and she says they're trying to get her for 5 days but trying to figure the finances. Yeah I knew this was coming but here's the kicker: if they want her for 5 days, why can't they be Monday through Friday. Here's the answer: because my selfish sister wants her on the weekends so that they can rip and run the streets. Although when I was there I would be there weekdays, weekends, and any other time because my life didn't count.
Well since I've returned to work and have left everything to my sister who wanted to be "MR BIG STUFF" I told my mom that I'd have to check my work schedule to see if I would be available.
Got the second bill and it's $1,900.00. This time it's for 2 weeks. I'll be bringing that over to my moms house to give to my sister so she can see just how much in home care costs. She didn't believe me so now she will see for herself. Wonder how long the care-taker will continue, hmmmmmmm.
wittnitt, I can relate about grandchildren, both in loving them and how tiring they can make you. Had my 7yr old granddaughter for the weekend,right when she left, had to rush to care for my 5 mo old grandson as my daughter and son-in-law got food poisoning. Anyway, I see having your granddaughter is a bright spot in your life. You can just roll with the flow so much. You have a huge load right now, rolling becomes difficult. There's nothing wrong with a pity party once in awhile, it's human, but they aren't really very much fun to attend. Trying to find solutions isn't fun either. That's when the emotional moments creep in. I've cried an ocean and 1/2, yelled, screamed, felt like I was going to explode, had sleepless nights. I wonder why me. My mom and sister excluded me my whole life and NOW I'm allowed in! Gee, thanks. I just do what I have to do. I take one day at a time. Mom is not a nice person nor is my sister. No amount of wishing will make them so. Mom says it's all in my head,yet another insult. Your sis sounds just like mine. Why resentment when they're free to join in? Did we ask for this job? Do they think we get so much praise we're bigheaded about it? It's ridiculous beyond measure. My sweet dad passed yrs ago. Have such good memories of him, feel blessed to have such a precious dad. Thank goodness, I had one parent who loved and respected me. And that's exactly what I showed him up to the very min. he died. I do not have solutions or profound words of wisdom, just a willing ear to listen.
alwaysmyduty, I do have my grandchild monday through friday after I get home from work because her mom (single) works 2nd shift. I have had her since she was born and sometimes feel lost when she isnt here, but I am getting too old for this. HA! I dont know if I am just having a pity party for myself right now. My entire life I have just kind of rolled with the flow but lately I have really had some emotional moments that I do not like. It does concern me that I am beginning to let things get to me more than I should.
Yep it is because you're there. Certainly you'll be worried if your dad is alone but you should still try it, have someone come out and just goooooooooooooooooo! You can also call and say you won't be back till Sunday night. Believe me they won't leave him alone. You've got to spend time with yourself. Even if you rent a room at a nice swank hotel like the Ritz-Carlton (right) and stay there. What's wrong with that. Give it a try. Heck park down the street and just kick back in your car somewhere you can watch. Listen to the radio, talk radio, music, sports stations whatever it's you and you alone.
More than likely if I asked, they would come over for just an hour or so. I am sure they all would have things to do. (I am a little frustrated, cant you tell) And then I would be my wondering the whole time is someone is there and I would feel horrible if they werent and my dad was lonely. I havent figured out why everyone thinks that a 30-60 minutes visit with dad fulfills their obligations for the week.....oh, I know why, its because I am there.
Wittnitt, I offer my sympathy. Your plate is piled way too high. Do you have to care for the grandkids every day? Shame on the sibs for "letting" you do most of it. Why is it that one kid out of the family always has to carry more of the load than the others? Can you tell them how you feel, especially about wanting to be in your own home sometimes? You deserve to have time for yourself. I think pamela6148 hit on a good idea!
Have you asked your siblings to give you a bigger window of time for a break? if you have and they haven't what would happen if you asked them to come over on a Friday, let them watch the grandkids till their mom picks them up, and just you didn't come back until Sunday evening????
I go to work monday-friday 6:30 to 4:30. When I get home I have my grandchildren, along with my dad throughout the evening until their mother picks them up late in the evening. It is absolutely exhausting. My siblings come in for a few hours a day while I am gone to stay with my dad but when I get home nobody ever comes by. Thus every night and every weekend is up to me. It is almost like "thats ok, you are there so we dont need to be". Whenever I am lucky to have a day off work it is just assumed that they are off of their duty for the day since I am home. I just want a break, I want to visit my own home. (I have moved into my dads house physically...So I am basically maintaining 2 homes all whenever I can find the time). I am physically and emotionally drained. AAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGHHHH.
My sister works, leave in the morning @ 5:50am 3:00pm mon-thur, picks up her daughter from school and get's home at 5:30 pm....off Fri, Sat, and Sun. My brother in law leaves the house daily mon-fri 4:30am to 4pm. My nephew sleeps all day long in the living room, get's up just b4 his dad comes home. The care giver worked a lot last week because of my sister being in the hospital but her hours are gonna be mon tues 7-3, Fri 7-7, Sat 7-3. I will go over Tuesday stay till Friday 7 am. Come home and be home Fri, Sat, Sun. The we'll start all over again.
I couldn't do it all by myself, I just couldn't plus I'm going to be going back to work first part of March.
W hy are you paying the bill your sister lives there and if she is paying your Mom rent then you Mom can pay that amount towards the care anf if she is not paying rent why can't she pay for the care as ahe can aford it and take care of your Mom the rest of the time.
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Not sure if that helps but in general home care is expensive. I definitely recall doing the math for what I would have LIKED to have put in place for my grandmother and realizing I didn't have (nor does she have) an extra $4000.00 a month to spend on homecare.
How's it going g/f...have you seen any of the rain from this wierd system coming in?
I pay 20 bucks an hour 20 hours a week so my bill is now over a thousand every month....and will soon go up...I am going to add some more hours...but also the caregiver said she could also do some time in the evening on her own time...YEAH..bless her heart!!!!
I get a call from my mom this morning and she ask me if I can come and watch her on Monday. I ask what happened to the care giver and she says they're trying to get her for 5 days but trying to figure the finances. Yeah I knew this was coming but here's the kicker: if they want her for 5 days, why can't they be Monday through Friday. Here's the answer: because my selfish sister wants her on the weekends so that they can rip and run the streets. Although when I was there I would be there weekdays, weekends, and any other time because my life didn't count.
Well since I've returned to work and have left everything to my sister who wanted to be "MR BIG STUFF" I told my mom that I'd have to check my work schedule to see if I would be available.
I won't be!!!!
Let them just see what all this entails.
You can just roll with the flow so much. You have a huge load right now, rolling becomes difficult. There's nothing wrong with a pity party once in awhile, it's human, but they aren't really very much fun to attend. Trying to find solutions isn't fun either. That's when the emotional moments creep in. I've cried an ocean and 1/2, yelled, screamed, felt like I was going to explode, had sleepless nights. I wonder why me. My mom and sister excluded me my whole life and NOW I'm allowed in! Gee, thanks.
I just do what I have to do. I take one day at a time. Mom is not a nice person nor is my sister. No amount of wishing will make them so. Mom says it's all in my head,yet another insult. Your sis sounds just like mine. Why resentment when they're free to join in? Did we ask for this job? Do they think we get so much praise we're bigheaded about it? It's ridiculous beyond measure.
My sweet dad passed yrs ago. Have such good memories of him, feel blessed to have such a precious dad. Thank goodness, I had one parent who loved and respected me. And that's exactly what I showed him up to the very min. he died.
I do not have solutions or profound words of wisdom, just a willing ear to listen.
Take some time.
Can you tell them how you feel, especially about wanting to be in your own home sometimes? You deserve to have time for yourself. I think pamela6148 hit on a good idea!
Have you asked your siblings to give you a bigger window of time for a break? if you have and they haven't what would happen if you asked them to come over on a Friday, let them watch the grandkids till their mom picks them up, and just you didn't come back until Sunday evening????
I couldn't do it all by myself, I just couldn't plus I'm going to be going back to work first part of March.