I truly believe that unless we are visibly upsetting the 'loved one' we are visiting, we should always be willing to visit. And if they are upset BY our visit, then discussing their care with the appropriate staff IN PERSON, speaks volumes to nursing home personnel.
If their memory is so impaired that they don't realize when we last visited, it is even MORE important that we visit often. AND the STAFF knows how much we care. They are there to see to their 'needs' but really the "loving" part is still our responsibility. WE need to continue to love them, while the staff cares for their daily needs. Ask the staff if anything is needed to make their life easier while caring for Mom/Dad/hubbie/wife. Does she need more socks, shirts, LESS socks shirts.
I know there are situations that may make it difficult to visit, but if the tables were turned, would we want to be "one of the forgotten ones"? Let's discuss this together!