My 83-year-old-mother obsesses over needing to take a bowel movement and the doctors won’t believe her.

Question

My 83 yr old mother is obsessing over needing to have a bowel movement and I have had her to her seen by her present doctor and the one before this one. Both agree she has IBS but she says the doctors don't know anything and she may die if she doesn't have a bowel movement NOW! The doc said she doesn't have any serious symptoms to put her through testing

We get the reports back from the neurologist next week if and what stage dementia/Alzheimer's. In the mean time due to not remembering to take her meds for high blood pressure, weakness in her legs, not eating properly, getting lost when driving and more she is living with me in an home addition made for her. Daily she fusses about needing a bowel movement because she is sick. She was told growing up to to have a daily bowel movement . She has been seen by her doctor who says she has no serious symptoms. Back home she tells me she is sick, needs to have movement and the dr doesn't know anything. She threatens she will die!

AnnePBevs · Accepted Answer

Did anyone come up with a suggestion to redirect her attention? If so please share....my grandmother was the same way....the ability to poop every morning set the tone of the day...I think mom just has taken it to an extreme....if she misses her bathroom time by an hour she panicked and starts laxitives, milk of magnesia and prune juice...yesterday she gave herself watery stools...now, the very next day I'm on the way to the store for prunes for her..she's had 1sandwich and an apple so far....I feel there is not enough food to go yet. Why does she obsess about this so very much...how do I help her calm down. It's so hard.

AnnePBevs · Answer

My mother does the same thing, and fears she will have a headache the next day if she does not go....every days focus is about how and when with BM.  It's very hard to face its day knowing that's what her obsession will be...if she goes then it's usually something on the news....she is healthy, stays in bed by choice and reads all day. No worries. So I try to keep her positive...if I could get the poop everyday or I will be sick obsession to go away it would be wonderful.

BiscuitEater · Answer

Thanks for the comments. It just helps to know that I can vent sometimes. I am considering home healthcare for her, but she is not quite open to the idea. I think I can persuade her in time, though. She is a wonderful person and I love her dearly. I just don't like the potty chair.

Shackled · Answer

Miralax, Miralax Miralax - Its a miracle.
One of the overlooked reasons for constipation is dehydration.
Miralax draws fluid to the intestine. Once my mother started a daily dose of this every morning and increased fluids to at least 5 - 6 glasses of water, juice etc things have improved immensely.
Plus walking - at least 5-10 minutes twice a day.

Perseverance · Answer

My Mom has dementia.. and while she was still able to talk (much more than what she does now). she'd often blurt out: I need to take a poo - and at this point she was wearing depends! Mom would make such a declaration at the most inappropriate times; we got to the point where we simply giggled and hugged her when she publicly made such announcements.

My take on it is that it was an adjustment for Mom to learn to take a BM in her diapers. I get it; it would be hard for me too!

PCVS · Answer

Contact your local Area Agency on Aging and see if your mother is eligible for some kind of morning Home Health Aid for an hour.  A nurse will probably come out and do an assessment based on both your mother's condition and your statements.

BiscuitEater · Answer

My mom is 90 and is currently taking pain meds for a pulled muscle. She says that the pain meds causes constipation and she worries about this everyday. Sometimes she takes so many different things that she has accidents without realizing it. She has recently started putting a potty chair next to her bed in case she can't make it to the bathroom and it seems she can't ever make it to the bathroom at night. I am so disgusted by this and just want to throw up every morning when I have to empty it. I have asked her to take the laxative in the morning instead of at bedtime so that she can use the bathroom during the day. She says she has to take it at night. That's just what people do. Needless to say this really depresses me. I know what I have to face in the morning. Any advice would be appreciated. I just heard her on the phone telling my sister that she was going to take two laxative pills tonight at bedtime. Helppppp!!!!!!!

marydallison · Answer

My mon who is 89 is obsessing everyday about her bowels.  she takes stool softeners 2 x per day and also a laxative plus we do fiber pills to try to keep her regular.  We had her to a gastroenterologist and was at the ER because of her obsessing over this. Everything is normal no obstructions etc.  But I have been caregiving now 4 days per week and spend the night and am realizing that she has a very obsessing tendancy  about many things.  It is hard to be around her and this obsessing tendency about everyting.  I just have to walk away and ignore at times.  How does one combat this obsessing tendency?

Deej · Answer

Thanks LynnPo I like the idea of the calendar I want to try that as then she can see what was written down and maybe in time like with your grandma she will forget....maybe something else will take it's place and I wan to try the warm prune juice like you did shedevil...... I give her the prunes but maybe the juice and waming it will help.
Thanks all for the many suggestions!

I feel good to know others have been in this boat and understand........

shedevil · Answer

Deeji,
Have u tried heating prune juice in themicrowave? Trust me ur mothewill not worry about another bm. When u make her breakfeast, just heat some prune juiice, and telll her it;s part of her breakfeast. and it wiill be a done deal. SD

LynnPO · Answer

Dee - my grandma was the very same way.   My mom stepped in when we realized she was using way too many laxatives and loosing weight. (Anorexics do this too)...  My mom got a medium sized desk top calendar so grandma could record her meals, when she had the laxatives and her BMs.  This worked for 2 years.  During that time it was grandma's querk but she kept up with it and it helped a lot.   Their routine was: get paper, check date, check corresponding day on calendar, make breakfast and start writing things down...    After two years grandma gradually forgot about her "regularity" over a two month period.

Deej · Answer

I do feed her prunes, milk of mag, mineral iol. Of course she doesn't take them all at the same time or day it's just that we have tried them all and some of them work but she forgets they work then fiusses that she can't go.

Pandoralou · Answer

Poor you! Does she like prunes or prune juice? My own mom has Alzheimers, too and she is presently trying to escape from assisted living. We should pray for each other.

PCVS · Answer

Try Superseed from the health food store. Or lots of fruit. Or too much magnesium. One of those is bound to help.

In fact a healthy person should have more than one bowel movement per day.

anne123 · Answer

How about a stool softener?

Deej · Answer

I presently give her Benefiber the dr recommened Metamucil and similar. She says they don't work she needs something stronger. Dr said occasional enemas and supposetories but not much as they are addictive. She says nothing works. I am frustrated what to do

anne123 · Answer

I have heard that those fiber tablets that are now out on the market ( and don't have to be taken with water necessarily) work well for regularity.  You might want to have her try taking those.

My 83-year-old-mother obsesses over needing to take a bowel movement and the doctors won’t believe her.

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