My 83-year-old mother is hateful and angry with me. She adopted a former foster child, now 15, and is jealous of my relationship with him.

My immediate family has always pushed me and my husband and son away. Now my sister is in total control of my mother and my brother. I'm trying to maintain a relationship with the boy, but they are pushing us away. He used to sneak to call me, now it's getting worse. Mother's always accusing me of disrespect and anything she can come up with. She calls others to bad mouth me. I finally had to let people know something of the situation in order to salvage my reputation. The nastiness toward me is not new, it's been most of my life. my husband and I are both college grads, well traveled and live in a nice community. My immediate family
won't visit us, and leaves us out of family gatherings. I give money to my mother and buy clothing for my brother. I give him an allowance and take him places when she'll allow it. I'm sick of the whole thing. My family has a history of this type of behavior, and I've been feeling the affects more as we grow older. I hate the fact that most of my memories of my mother with be this awful mess if she passes before I do. My husband and friends think I should let it go and consider myself without this part of my family. It's easier to do than to say. There's very little I can salvage at this point. I stay away in order to not cause my mother any more temper tantrums. I worry about her and her raising a teen at 83. He's a good kid with some AD problems. She yells quite a bit. They argue several times a week. I'm trying not to talk about this to anyone. I think I'm driving everyone crazy with my worry.