My father in law lives in Florida, we live in the UK. We spent Christmas with him last year He was constantly receiving phone calls from two girls from a family down the street. The family is known to us, but the thing is the mother. She gets the girls to call and ask for money or gifts. His dad is catholic and loves children, and when we asked him about this he said the kids have nothing and I want to help. While we were there we found utility bills, cell phone bills and others of which are the other families. We also found a Christmas list of top of the range cameras, clothes and a in ground trampoline which they asked my father in law to buy them. He already pays for private school and tennis coaching for the older girl. This family are bleeding him dry and he sees nothing wrong with what there doing. The mother of the girls is divorced with 2 older children. She lives in a huge home and recently had a pool built and new car, she doesn't work so my guess is he's paid for this too. She knows we are moving back to help my father in law and asked her girls for the local catholic priest to make her girls his holy grand children. He's a wealthy man, we wouldn't be so concerned if she helped him around the home but all she does is take from him. There has to be something we can do??? Is this illegal what she's doing??
It's driving us crazy, we really don't know what she will do next.
Thank you
well after 3 calls to the elder care and nothing things took a turn for the worst last week. We went looking for cars found the perfect one, as we were walking back we heard his dad talking to the guy telling him he would come and show THEM the car!! The next day we went out alone as his dad was taking her kids out to buy tennis equipment as he sponsors them both. As we were driving i said to Ryan lets just call at the car dealership as we turned we saw his dad with THAT FAMILY test driving the car we wanted. i lost it and drove to were they were. This women and her kids are so evil its untrue, as we were confronting his dad over what he had done they were laughing and smiling at us from inside the showroom.we were so angry and upset that he could do this that we drove off and got as much paperwork together and went to the local sheriffs office.
As we thought there was nothing they could do. We also know that she wants to get the car as theres a print out of the value of her current car(which he bought). we went for lunch today to a local restaurant with his dad. He introduced us all to the owner then started telling him about the other kids saying how shes a great tennis player and the guy said are they your grand kids? he said YES. We have both tried very hard to not let this cause an argument but i couldnt hear him tell people they were his family when they are not!!! i told the guy in the restaurant they were not his grand kids and he argued with me saying yes they were. We have both heard and seen enough, nothing has changed even with us been here.
We are sick to the stomach of hearing about these kids, they have totally brainwashed him.
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Well me and the kids flew over and have been here since Saturday.
The situation is much worse than before. The lady is obviously scared of our imminent move here as she has constantly called and sent her children round since we got here. The day after we got here he left us and took this family out, he's lying to us constantly about were he's been and who with. We are almost ready to go home as we can't take much more of this.
There are letters, fathers day cards, birthday cards all with grandad written on and yesterday the girls drove round on very expensive scooters/ buggies and parked and sat outside his house.
She doesn't like him spending any time with us and calls to make excuses for him to leave the house.we are hoping to see a DA in the next few days as this can't and will not go on any longer. Sad times but this b**** will get what's coming and very soon
Janet
Quite honestly, the person you talked to doesn't sound like she knows what she's talking about. The information on their website -- which cites the applicable statute -- directly contradicts what she said. I would call back and you'll most likely talk to a different person. I bet you'll get a different answer. If not, ask to speak to a supervisor. We've been working with senior citizens for 25 years, and I've never heard someone from APS say something like that.
Here is the applicable statute -- your father quite obviously qualifies as a vulnerable adult who falls under the jurisdiction of APS: "A person 18 years of age or older whose ability to perform the normal activities of daily living or to provide for his or her own care or protection is impaired due to a mental, emotional, long-term physical or developmental disability or dysfunction, or brain damage, or the infirmities of aging (s. 415.102(26), F.S.)."
Furthermore, the statutes governing APS also state: "(1) The department shall, upon receipt of a report alleging abuse, neglect, or exploitation of a vulnerable adult, begin within 24 hours a protective investigation of the facts alleged therein." (s. 415.104(1), F.S.)
The law, to me, is crystal clear that APS must conduct an investigation when they receive a report. Here are some links with all of the applicable information.
How to Report: http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/programs/aps/Reporting.shtml
Statutes: http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/programs/aps/policies.shtml
Again, if you contact APS and get the same response from a supervisor, I would contact your father's local representatives. They will have much more influence and can also reach people higher on the food chain.
i will keep you all updated as to the outcome, btw she didnt get charged over the credit card fraud.........!
Yes he did take lots of photos, as we both think this is the only route we can go down to finally do something.have you any idea how we start something like this?
my husband has gone over as he was complaining of not been well and to help him in the house.
The house was disgusting. how he hasnt caught some horrific disease is beyond me.
7 days after arriving there hes still cleaning.All hes talked about is these GREAT KIDS!!!! Ryan is fed up of hearing about this great family, who may i add has let him live in this filth!!! hes seen more bills and cheque stubs made out to the all and now his dad said hes gunna be broke in 5 years. My husband has had enough, nothing he does or says will change his mind about this evil family. im due to fly out saturday with the children and am dreading it. Im considering giving him an ultimatium as i know he will probably still go places with theses girls whilst were over visiting.
im just concerned he will choose them.
im going to try and see an attorney while were there.
hope everyones ok xx
Ive recently spoken to adult protection services in fl, they were unable to help us as this lady is not either a family member or a care giver.
I have no idea as what to do next as we cannot afford a attorney to look into this matter for us.
My FIL is not answering any of our calls now, so we have a house for sale and are still waiting for paperwork to get us our US passports.
Has anyone got any ideas as were we go next?
Let as many people around your FIL know about your concerns as possible, His church leaders, his local Senior Center, his local Area Agency on Aging, etc.
Of course, I know you understand that unless he is mentally incapacitated, it is ultimately his decision to do what he will, but I know far younger and less vulnerable people who have been badly scammed by false friends and your concerns are by all means appropriate.
Best of luck, let me know if I can help in any way from this side of the globe until you get here yourselves. I'm pretty much tied to the house with my mom's care but if you need anything that I CAN do, I'd be glad to help.
Many thanks
Janet
As far as we are aware no one has power of attorney over his finances. In the past when we have visited, bank statements have been quite visible to us. He pays for his daughters cell phone and also the whole other families. We have copies of the bills as he complains to my sister in law when it's clearly the other family taking the ****. we really cannot wait to get this sorted. We've recently spoken to him as he has a problem with his dogs, and who does he ask for help from? yes us, 4000 miles away And he can't ask this great women and her fantastic children for help! You would think that's the least they could do but once again unless he's giving they don't want to know.
If he is lonely, redirect his attetion to something more positive. As a good Catholic man, get him involved in legitmate charities....there are so many people who truly need his help. He could mentor a child through the Big Brothers assoc. etc...
I agree with everyone above...act swiftly and aggressively. Keep your presence known to this cunning family. Do everything the law will allow. File for restraining orders until this thing is sorted out. Do any of his family members have his Power of Attorney? This would give them the ability to sort through his bank records and docs for improprieties.
Be relentless and maybe the leach will finally get the hint.
I wish a hot rock in hell for anyone who victimizes an elderly person. Be vigilant about anyone who comes into your parent's lives and seems to be getting a little too close. Monitor financial info., take valuables and personal info. from their homes, and report anything you find suspicious.
Really.....should you have to worry about these things in your seniorhood???
good luck