SIL #1, 2,& 5 helped out where they could. My husband is child #4 and #3 barely helped out when my husband & I were exhausted. Now my MIL is in a Nursing Home (NH). I don't like the fact that the sisters did not consult my husband (their brother). It still bothers me (and my husband) almost a year later. I know I don't have a real say because I'm not blood-related, but all they said to my husband was, I hope you'll go along with our decision. It was the DPOA SIL that was doing the speaking for all of the sisters. Still don't think it was fair.
Still the other day I had to hold my tongue when my mother told me how young I still was (I'm 51) and that I should be happy that I have my life to lead. Had to hold my tongue b/c how am i really enjoying and leading life to the fulliest when mom and I are pretty much chained to the house because of her PD. Just pondering.
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This just poisons you and keeps you from living.
Its those you love and have trust in that most times hurt you the most. Step up to the plate and do the best for your Mom. when all is said and done you can face yourself and say : I did my best.
Blessings Virignia
Your main focus should still be on your MIL and if she is getting good care. If so, write off the nastiness from your hub's sibs. If not, speak up in defense of your MIL only. Your husband should be able to contact her doc or the NH whenever he has a question. Make sure his name is on the "call list." For whatever reason, your Mom gave the POA to your SIL...who knows why people do anything.
Do what you can for your MIL, visit her often and do not bring up the other sibs, then, forget the rest. Take this time to reclaim your lives. Take a vacation to get away from it all and rejuvenate.