I need help with keeping my elderly relative out of a nursing home and taking over their assets.

If your husband's grandmother is already on Medicaid, her home is already subject recovery or reimbursement to Medicaid for expenses they have encountered on her behalf.

It would be nice if you could live in her house with her and provide care, but I would strongly advise you to get guidance from and elder law attorney. There are rules you need to be aware of before you make a mistake rather than after.

Best wishes, Cattails

Hi, I am a nurse and I work for a Skilled Nursing Facility (aka Nursing home) First you should look into finding a lawyer that specializes in Elder Care Law. A lot of families are trying to do just what you are trying to do...keeping your loved ones at home knowing that is what they want. I think the best option to prolong and keep the quality of life high for your loved one is to keep her in her own home. Persons with Dementia rely on their routine to keep them "sane" due to knowing that they are loosing their facets. Having a family meeting with key members of the family(not discluding anyone close to the said loved one) is probably best but only after you have talked to a lawyer about your options legally. You could even look at finding a live in healthcare provider. If you choose to have a different person come into the home to take care of her then you need to have an interview with her there and in the evening. Dementia patients tend to "sundown" and this is noticable by behaviors and increased confusion. The person taking care of her should be someone that she trusts and likes during these times. Also making sure someone in the family is available or "on call" in the evening incase the caregiver needs assistance. Another concern is safety. With the developement of dementia and increasing in sundowning they tend to try and find something or someone even if they are right there talking to them and will leave the safety of the house. You need to look at possible escape routes and without trapping oneself in the house incase of an emergency you need to keep your loved one safe. Also remember the stove, microwave, iron, washer, dryer etc. At the nursing home I work at, we admitted a resident with dementia that was cooking dinner for her husband....it was a shoe in the oven. I think I have covered most concerns about the home. Good luck to you and your loved one. Dementia is a horrible disease for the ones closest to the person affected as well as the person affected but you can learn a lot about the loved one affected. You can learn a lot about what kind of person they were in their younger years. Typical Alzheimers Dementia tend to regress through the years. It can be a sweetly sorrow filled journey.