Mine is a mentally hard issue, I am an only child and My elder parents live on the east coast, dad with glaucoma and fading vision, neither drive.My grown children with little ones live in Chicago area and Kansas City area & another in LA area w/o kids. My husband & I were in Ohio area, our businesses went into bankruptcy, & we personally as well. We have no home, no jobs, no income, no more unemployment. We have been trying to get jobs in Chicago area, living with one child, but nothing in 6 months. We have now moved onto LA area looking for work over 2 months. But I still keep thinking about my parents on the East coast living by themselves and my mother in law an hour from my parents. I know they miss us. My dilemma is.. wanting to be near our grandkids as they grow up, not wanting to miss out on them growing up, and being involved grandparents, and I would love for my parents to move also, so they can see at least some of their great-grandkids, but also feeling that maybe we should be near our parents in their last years, coupled with the fact that we have no jobs, no money. Can you give me some insight as to how we should be thinking and approaching our future. Being we do not have jobs, nor home, it gives us the opportunity to move somewhere, where there is family, but which of the four places. My parents are 90 and 84, and in good health, except for the blinding from the glaucoma. No matter where we are, we will miss out on the others lives. As you can tell, Family is important to us, and so not only am I stressed out about not having work, medical/dental coverage, a home, a place to call my own, with my own "stuff", but just " not knowing" where TO BE....
Can you help me in my thinking, I wake up every morning thinking and sweating about it. For at the moment, I have been applying for jobs in LA area, but I keep thinking that if I take a job, if I am lucky enough to get one at my age, should I really reside here or should I be somewhere else. It's cheaper to live in Kansas, near one child and grandkids, should we have to take jobs with less pay. Its' hard to put out applications to all 4 locations as you have to get to these places for interviews, which makes it hard, can't afford airfare.
I feel like I am in a revolving door and it won't stop, just going in circles, and at every opening, I cant get out and make it permanent.
What do I do?
Can you help me with some new way of looking at my circumstances, that might guide me to make a decision....
I can see merit in every aspect. but which is right? Or if not Right, which would be the way to go for us.
thank you for your help, and feel free to ask me any more questions that would help you give me some perspective to make me decide in one of the four directions.
thx
I do understand wanting to be involved in your kids lives and with the grandchildren; I would feel the same way. However, if you decided to go that route and things started deteriorating and changing for your parents - it would be quite difficult living so far away from them.
You do have a lot to think about and I truly feel for you in this situation. If living with your parents was a possibility; it seems to me that would make the most sense since you are looking for work and have no ties; such as a house to sell, etc. you would at least have a place to live and could look for work. And you could help your parents at the same time. Then, if they require more care, you will be right there. I doubt they would be willing to relocate at their age, right?
But, maybe they would, I don't know.
Do you think jobs are plentiful back East? Cost of living, etc. To me, since you are in a position to make a change - moving in with your parents might be a good idea. If you don't, how would you manage their care and needs from such a distance? These decisions are huge and really do take a lot of thought. Whenever I have big decisions to make similar to this, etc. - I make a list of the pros and cons. Seeing everything in writing helps me clarify my thoughts.
Thinking of you and will keep you in my prayers. So sorry about the job losses; I've been there - it is tough. Take care.
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