I set up an appointment to get my mother a geriatric evaluation, but she cancelled it the day before she was supposed to go. The evaluation was to take place at a very reputable facility in her town, that has out patients programs, as well as being a nursing home.
She accused me of using this appointment as a way of admitting her into their nursing home, and cancelled her appointment. Talk about histrionics. The truth of the matter is: I can't force her to go, right?
She's 88, lives alone and is fairly independent. She was diagnosed with congestive heart failure three years ago, which she seems to have stabilized through her drug regime. She goes back to the cardiologist 3 times a year.
Her cardiologist has put her on a no-salt diet, which she totally disregards. Her legs are quite swollen, which restricts her mobility.
I've noticed that she doesn't seem to have facial recognition.
Her doctors say she doesn't have dementia; she pays all of her own bills, shops for herself, and gets to most of her doctor appointments independently. However, I do take her to all her specialist appointments.
Should I force the issue with the evaluation? By nature she is not a co-operative person, has always been suspicious of everyone in her family's motivations. And generally refuses help from anyone, as she says it makes her look weak.
Thanks for any thoughts.
- Rugs
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My mother doesn't want my help; she doesn't want to do anything that would help improve her quality of life, and she is not interested/capable of yielding to bring peace of mind to her caregivers.
I have to learn to accept this.
The importance of these tests is to have a starting point to track that person's abilities and in subsequent assessments will help flag any deterioration. This is, in my opinion, the most important thing to have completed.
In my mother's case, I finally convinced her that what they do in this assessment is to evaluate all of her abilities, which are amazing for someone in her condition. I then told her that this assessment is meant to identify the supports she may need to help her stay in her home as long as possible. She seemed to accept this and the assessment was done, and in fact identified a couple of supports that has helped her maintain her independence longer were put in place. That was three years ago and those supports have helped her continue to live in her own home.