I know I'll get over it, but I'm still in a daze because we didn't even have time to discuss it. My husband finally convinced MIL to let him change her doctor to his (who is also mine) and called yesterday at 3:30 pm to tell me that he (Dr. Arrick) had agreed to take her as a patient, but that he wanted her admitted to Heartland Nursing Home immediately. The ambulance was on it's way to pick her up as we spoke.
She is settled in at the Nursing Home now and it's like when our kids grew up and moved out. The house is quiet and empty. I wanted it this way but I didn't expect it to be sudden. I thought we would plan it ourselves. It was nice we didn't have to search for a good Nursing Home, though. Heartland gets good reports from everyone we've spoken to, especially doctors.
I told him that he should be the one to tell her so I took the phone to her bedroom and let him talk to her. I didn't listen to their conversation and don't know what was said except she kept asking "Are they coming to get me today?" She repeated that 4 times.
When I told Nancy, my helper, that she was going to be sent to a Nursing Home right away, her only comment was "WelI, guess I'm out of a job now!" She didn't have a concern that maybe it was a good think. MIL's health was declining rapidly and she needed better care than we can give her at home anymore. This our doctor can see and it was time to make this move.
She is settled in at the Nursing Home now and it's like when our kids grew up and moved out. The house is quiet and empty. I wanted it this way but I didn't expect it to be sudden. I thought we would plan it ourselves. It was nice we didn't have to search for a good Nursing Home, though. Heartland gets good reports from everyone we've spoken to, especially doctors.
I thought I would jump back into "my life" just like it was, but there is no "my life" just like it was anymore. I am older and things have changed in 2 1/2 years. I can now pay attention to me, though, and get the medical attention I need and not post-pone it. I can go to my grandkids soccer games and school programs or just sit out in the yard swing, and I can speak to my neighbors when I see them outside (if I can remember their names :0)
I asked my husband if this was permanent and he said "we will see". Since my doctor is his doctor and her doctor now, too, I will put a bug in his ear to tell my husband to keep her there. He knows how this has been affecting me. He asks me about it every visit I go to.
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while my husband's social security lump sum had paid for the down payment on the truck, for years it was my money that paid the monthly payments, and because he was too much of a pussy to shop for a truck, i was the one who did so and i bought it and my name is on the pink slip! so i figured the truck would just come with me and F him!
no, he never hit me, (sometimes i wish he had), but 28 years of drug and alcohol abuse, 28 years of me picking up his slack, 28 years of me making ends meet and making sure our kids had food/shelter/clothing and maybe not things but experiences. i was well done over a decade ago. plus, he knew that i was going through the worst PTSD relapse of my entire life, (for multiple rapes), and not once, but TWICE i woke up with his hands in my pajama bottoms groping me!
no man will ever treat me like that again.
i can live on next to nothing if i have to if it means that i have peace and joy in my life.
fortunately the VA gave me my disability rating, i have excellent doctors who totally went to bat for me. i have never been happier in my life outside of the births of my babies.
funnier, do not listen to any naysaying lawyers, you find a lawyer who believes you and will fight for you!
You mentioned you have SS. Are you are medicare also?
Just some thoughts.
Cattails
But I don't have the nerve to leave yet. I have no place to go. My Social Security check won't pay rent and utilities and credit card payments. I have animals I have no place I can send and I can't take them with me no matter where I go and I know he won't take care of them.
When I did go to an attorney once, he pretty much told me I was screwed. He said Jim and I would both have to agree to a divorce and divide everything. I couldn't pay for half of anything we owe. I don't have a dime to my name.
i am so glad that i found a way to leave my husband; while he would never think to bring his or my mother into the home, i know for certain he would never take care of me at all. i do remember how it was whenever i was really sick.
once he refused to drive me to the hospital for major abdominal pain, (nausea, fever, chills, trembling, sweating, the works), because he had a hangover. i drove myself there almost having two accidents. i couldn't walk across the parking lot and a woman older than myself found a wheelchair and brought me in. a battery of tests concluded it wasn't appendicitis, but some kind of lower GI infection and i was kept for five days while they pumped me full of antibiotics. while i was there my husband sent my kids down to retrieve the truck, but when i needed to be picked up my husband said he didn't feel well again and it was too far a drive. i had to call a friend to come get me and take me home.
In addition, Nancy told Jim she is looking for another job and he is afraid she might find one and "we might lose her" so he wants to get his mother home "before we lose Nancy." If I could only get up enough nerve to tell Nancy she needs to take a bath or at least wear a deodorant. That might help some.
While you are getting back into your groove with me time, make sure that husband gets to see how great it is to have some couple time, too.