I have been struggling with this too. My therapist told me that she will never change. I can only change myself and try to hold on to my own space (time). It is extremely difficult when living with someone who mostly only thinks of themselves. I am trying to find ways to take back my life, but it's hard. After spending days in health care fire drills for her, I am exhausted and don't have a life of my own left. So, I come here and find out that others have the same issues, and I have one rule for myself... I try to do one healthy thing for myself every day... even if it's just to clean out one of my own closets, or take care of a big pile of paperwork, or workout. I try not to ever let a day go by where I can't look back and say well I got something good done. My thoughts and prayers are with you and all of us in this confusing situation. My mother is living "independently" completely dependent on me. Looking at her I realize that she only has family (me) and paid helpers. No friends... so although I have not done a good job of this... we have to make and keep friends! Let's go out and get some!!