I am rejecting the emotional bad condition of my old 80 yo father.

I appreciate your speaking up about your feelings, you are trying to come to some understanding. Yes, it must be hard for children who have looked up to their parents to be the strong and wise one, for we admired them and depended upon them, and that formed a loving relationship. But as they lose their physical abilities, which is the nature of aging, suddenly it it THEIR feelings that become the most important - they are GRIEVING. And, in memory losses about their immediate life, sometimes they lash out at us - caregivers or children, at whoever suggests they move quickly, or think more quickly, because they find they cannot. I've worked with elders for 18 years, and I got to know many of them, when their own children had died, or live so far away. I was also on my own for a large part of my life, traveling without family, and I've found myself interested and curious, and when the elders tell me about their lives, they always love their children and want to leave a positive legacy behind - and they are facing at the same time, the confusing changes of not remembering things (because they are no longer responsible for them), and even people, grandchildren - your immediate memory goes before your long term memory, so some elders remember their childhoods better than memories of raising their own families. That can feel very painful to adult children - who remember their OWN childhoods in detail! The good news is that it is life and natural, and making time to sit with someone in any quiet way, can help the elder feel you care, and keep alive a current relationshiip through changes.

You must see an American Geriatric specialist. It appears that your father has many health issues, not just one. You also need to visit and consult with an American psychologist or psychiatrist.....perhaps this should be your first stop on the road to knowing how to deal with the situation.

If you are in the US, I would call an ambulance. I am not trying to be mean. But, you are trapped and his health is deteriorating. Once you get him to a hospital, he can be placed in a facility easier.

Hi Dr Hope it is terrible to see somebody deteriorate that way. Sadly, this happens so often. My mother is the same; she is always moaning about it being the end. This depresses me terribly. I don't sleep well. I worry a lot. My best wishes to you.

yes hard to understand exactlly what you wrote, your english is broken, so I am assuming you are from somewhere else, whereever you are, do they have respite care, hospice?? will keep you in my prayers

can you take him to see a geriatrician? ask for social worker while there and they might help you explore options...are you in the US and if so, where are you originally from??