Oy, it seems to be setting in again. For the last two years, my mother has been coming down with illnesses in the colder months. This past two weeks she has had a pain in her hip and leg that sounds like it is sciatic pain. It wouldn't surprise me, because she sits all day long in a recliner. We've been to a doctor and had tests and x-rays that showed no problem. But she is getting sicker by the day, wrapping in blankets and taking her temperature to show how sick she is. Her doctor told her she needed to stay as active as possible, but my mother says she hurts too bad to move. She wants to go to the hospital almost every day. She is sure it is a blood clot or cancer.
I'm always left not knowing what to do. She has cried wolf so much that I don't know when to listen anymore. I've spent more time in doctors' offices than many doctors have, it seems. Today I fussed at her and told her the doctor said to keep moving, that I was afraid if she just kept sitting there that she soon wouldn't be able to walk at all, which would mean she wouldn't be able to stay home anymore. I wouldn't be able to care for her at home if she couldn't walk.
She got up and moved a while, but returned to her sick mode late in the evening. She talks about her pain nonstop. I do worry that there might be something and I don't want to ignore, but we have spent so much time on the hypochondria doctor merry-go-round in the last four years that I just can't do it anymore. Her doctor ordered PT for her, but I can't get her to go. I told her there was only one person who could help her, and that was herself. She is the only person who can make her get up and do something.
It seems like everything should be so easy. I don't know why it has to be so hard. My mother has diabetes and dementia. The rest has just been make believe so far.
I think there is also value to what you said about opening up curtains (and windows when appropriate), especially on sunny days. Even if it's cold outside, just having a lot of light coming in can improve a person's mood. I have bought my mom a lot of back patio stuff, like glow-in-the-dark things, glass balls that look gorgeous in the day time, ceramic animals, and the metal spinny things with shapes like a sun or a fairy that you hang up. She gets a big kick out of looking at the patio (as do I), even when it's too hot or cold to go out there. If your mom is the kind to respond to the 'prettyification' of the immediate outside area, that might be worth trying. Even cheap trinkets you can stick in a planter can be cheerful.
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We have a white light lamp. It could be worth a try.
I just thought about how much of our time can be spent trying to make someone happy who is determined not to be. I have to admit that I am to the "enough already" point. I am having to come up for oxygen.
We went to the ER, and to 2 doctor's appointments for stomach pain related to constipation. I was pretty sure that he just needed to load up on Metamucil, but was afraid to ignore it, in case it was something else. It did go away completely.
Can you give her a Tylenol for pain that is really a calcium tablet? Or maybe a real tylenol, to see if that stops the pain and the complaints? If the pain gets better with Tylenol, maybe it really is pain. Probably not cancer, but still pain. Can you promise to call the doctor "in a few days?" Or will she remember that perfectly? What about music? Does anything work to distract her?
"It seems like everything should be so easy?" Really? I just read this great young adult novel called "The Fault in Our Stars" about a girl with cancer where they point out that "the world is not a wish-granting factory." Sorry, dear JB, it is never easy for long. But the book is very good, so get it and read it and make your mother read it, and you'll both live happily ever after. (Hugs.)