My 86y/o Mother lives w/my wife and me. Wife still works and is gone from 1pm til 12am, which is good. My Mother has both ALZ and Parkinson's. She was living in an assisted living facility for the past 2 years. It was not a good fit for her and both her physical and psychological health suffered. She had lived with us before and the decision was made for her to return home to us. WOW what a change. Everything is a struggle from morning until night. Nothing happens without strong words from her and going into her room and closing herself off for long periods of time. She has always been very physically active but has so many balance problems that she is limited in her mobility as well as cognitively. In the past few days she has started going outside without telling me in advance and without a coat. It has been bone chillingly cold here. She will not comply. We have started barricading the front door at night just so I can sleep. She has refused to bathe since returning to us in November and while I was taking her to the beauty salon weekly she has refused to go the last 3 times saying she is too weak. She wears the same clothes for 3-4 days at a time.
Now for the topper; she is a widow and has been so longer than she was married. They did not have a happy marriage and sex was something she always was very negative about. Now she has started to make "passes" at me! Trying to get me to get into her bed. I stopped going into her room after dark because of this (it's worse at night). Twice in the past week she has come out of her room wearing nothing below the waste and trying to get me to go to bed with her. I remind her that I am not Dad but Marc, her son but she is still determined. I have started going to my own room early If my kids aren't at home in the evening, and locking my door.
I have never been so disgusted in my life and I feel terrible that I only want to be away from her. I know if she goes to a nursing home it's over for her but I can't do this very long. Just needed to put this out there somewhere other than in my head. Thanks.
Thanks again.
I can understand why you are disgusted and why you lock yourself in your room. What a dreadful behavior to see in your mother. I hope it helps you to know that the behavior is part of the dementia ... and not part of your mother! Dementia can be disgusting. If your "real" mother could see her behavior now she would very likely be horrified and disgusted. She cannot help what is happening to her.
I agree with the posters who suggest it is time for a professional care center, and probably a memory care unit or a nursing home, and not assisted living. Do NOT regard this as a failure on your part, or as a punishment for Mom's behavior. It is simply (and sadly) a reflection on the nature of the disease.
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