Birthdays and other celebrations for loved ones.

Question

Tomorrow, we celebrate our sweet Mama's 90th Birthday! I am so excited to have her with us and while I realize a lot of what is going on she may not be fully aware, I am still convinced she can "feel the love" of those surrounding her who truly do care.

Initially, I was planning on having all of her siblings here, even though they have not really been here for the past two years, but as soon as I mentioned it, they immediately started taking over and I do mean trying to turn it into a full blown family reunion. I wasn't having it...period.

I had spoken with her nurse and we agreed that an enormous crowd would be too confusing and overwhelming for her...and for me....I promptly informed them I had decided to nix the party....and that we would just have something tiny for Mama and my brother and I.

So I am having a special cake, my brother is going to try to get off work early...and one of my cousins who has been one of the very few to be here for me is coming...That's it. I am going to cook burgers, even though Mama doesn't eat "food" anymore, I will have treats for her she can eat, including blending some of her cake in with one of her nutritional drinks and make a birthday cake milkshake...going to have some balloons and hopefully just a fun, laid back day celebrating an amazing woman...

I think I am being viewed as a little selfish for not having the big who ha reunion, but in my mind, I decided, NONE of those people have been here one single time over the course of the two and a half past years and I didn't feel like hosting a party where I knew Mama would be worn out and would not even remember them...heck, I wouldn't know half of them anymore...

So HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MOST AMAZING MAMA GOD COULD BLESS A KID WITH....I AM SO PROUD OF YOU AND WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH....

hope22 · Accepted Answer

I love those ideas too amazing!  That is what I think you have to do...make it fun for us and for them.  That is what I do for sure...We have had a wonderful day.  Mama is pretty tired as she had a lot of visitors...and I am totally wiped out...but it was so worth it to see her so happy....I am so thankful!!!  and blessed!!   PS...she loved her blanket  :)

amazing · Answer

The blanket sounds lovely. My husband was in small group ASF for few years and I gave him presents for special occasions. He loved musical pop-up card so I bought him some beautiful adult pop-up books from Amazon. One is of the ocean and the others showed animals. i could show them to him over and over and he loved them Another thing that was liked was a plug in box with moving fish that looks like an aquarium.   I made it fun for me and for him, even in his advanced alzheimer's. Hope some of you can use these suggestions.

hope22 · Answer

I am so excited!  I made Mama a  pretty fleece blanket with pretty redbirds on one side and soft yellow on the other...it turned out beautifully and I can't wait to give it to her!  I did make a point to invite my sister in law, who has not been to see my Mama in over two years but have learned she will not be coming...I will never understand her but she is the one who is missing out on so much...My brother and I and a few others who have been here will rejoice and celebrate with Mama....as it should be...  :)

jeannegibbs · Answer

Of course you are not selfish! Don't give that a thought.

hope22 · Answer

That's a good idea!  With our enormous family I still fear too many would just pile in at once...I agree, the short visits by adults in very very small groups or solo is best for no more than an hour...I love my aunt but the other day they came and stayed WAY too long and I could feel myself about to fall asleep sitting in my chair...I kept jerking and waking up...but it apparently didn't matter...they stayed another hour even then...why can folks not get how tired we get...

pamstegma · Answer

Mom keeps talking about having a big party, but we know she can't  handle it.  Then she said she wanted a party, but adults only, "no little kids running around". That would eliminate most of the family.  So, we encourage short visits by adults, in very small groups for not more than an hour at a time.  When mom insisted on attending a birthday party for a great- granddaughter, it turned into a fiasco and they had to put mom to bed. Fortunately the party was in a home where they could do that.   If the family wants a reunion, hold it in a nearby park or restaurant, where small groups can visit mom at home and return to the party.

assandache7 · Answer

Happy Birthday to Hope22's Mom!!!

PS.. You're not selfish! Your Mom would agree with me..

Birthdays and other celebrations for loved ones.

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