I'm so beaten down I can't stand to look at him sometimes.

Question

I love my father (dementia dad) dearly, more than I can express.... BUT 24/7 with no break for years I am tired of seeing the vacant stare he gives me all of the time. I feel so guilty for it but then I see it again and I get mad all over again. My dad was a firecracker, never without a comeback always on and quick witted. I do not know this person who has inhabited his body. I care for him the same but I don't know him anymore. I hate what dementia has done to him. And me. Its a horrible thief who robs us of our favorite people and leaves devastation instead. That's all... just venting.

Eyerishlass · Accepted Answer

((((((((((((((((ypiffani))))))))))))))))

ypiffani · Answer

we are working on that now, through the VA and hopefully it will happen soon.

Marialake · Answer

I understand too. Dementia can be creepy at times. I don't know how else to describe it. It seems as though my MIL eats............glares............poops.
The glaring is quite unnerving and it feels uncomfortable even though I try to be very upbeat with her and kind.
I hate being stared at :(

assandache7 · Answer

I understand... My Dad was quick witted and huggy guy also.. After he passed I thought that all I was going to remember was his dying and sickness but I don't... Everyday I look at a picture I have of him before he was sick and he's smiling.. That's the Dad I so effectionly admire and was blessed to have him in my life..

ASusan48 · Answer

Hang in there, Ypiffani....I wish I could offer more than that, but know that you're in good company here. {{hugs}}

I'm so beaten down I can't stand to look at him sometimes.

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