Makes me sad to feel this way but she's been on a roll for weeks now! She doesn't have dementia or Alzheimer's- She is just aging not so gracefully. It got so bad that an adult grand daughter finally asked her to give it a rest. She did shut up and for the next 20 minutes, she was normal. What she was doing is letting the entire family know how her two daughter's didn't buy the right brand of cat food so her cat threw up- which its been doing for 10 years (long haired cat and hairballs) and I was given a grocery list yesterday to shop on Monday but happened to find one of her items on sale so I brought it and stuck it in her purse- "I don't need this today- just one more thing I have to shove in my purse today". I made her a plate and took it to her but the Quiche arrived late and then I heard "I didn't get any Quiche, no one asked me what I wanted on my plate " I told her "Mom, I gave you a little of everything- you don't have to eat it all, the Quiche arrived late and I will get you some". So I did and returned with a small plate and she pushed it away and said "I don't want it now, I am too full. I wanted it before you gave me all that other stuff". And, well... on and on and on- my sister and I are emotionally exhausted. My brother-in- law and nieces all said " she's been nasty as long as we've known her- she's just getting worse with age- no balance now. Then as she is leaving- "don't forget to shop tomorrow and keep your eye out for a pair of loafers and by the way, I need a new screen". Holy moly! I walked her out to my nieces car who kindly offered to return her to the senior center because she knew my sis and I had enough- mom says "What's the matter, did I piss you and your sister off AGAIN? So- she's aware- and sometimes we think she enjoys making us miserable- the woman lives in the most luxurious senior home and has everything she could want- but she won't even make friends because "they just aren't my kind of people- clickish". One day I visited and her dining table girlfriend said "your mom is a real hypochondriac- "I never talked to such a bitter woman. Meat is too tough, vegetables are cold, ice cream wrong flavor, not salty or flavored enough". She's 90- well- this is the discussion forum. Anyone else wish to sound off? She's my mom but its getting harder for me to drag myself over- and I feel bad I feel this way but I am tired of being "beat up"!
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I think you're doing exactly what you need to do -- listen to her, but let it roll off. It sounds like it is wearing on her table mate, too. I don't know if there is any way to make her happy unless she chooses it for herself. I haven't been able to figure out how to make that happen. I wish someone would invent a happy drug that improves the temperament immediately without having any other effect!