Visitors who don't seem to understand what we are really dealing with.

Question

After a flurry of visits recently, one theme seems to prevail overall for me....None of the people who are visiting seem to "get it" as far as knowing what is going on in this house. Some of the visitors are younger children and they find Mama's comments funny...they even "egg her on" and keep her going and have started repeating things she says. These are not younger kids, they are old enough to know better and their parents certainly should know better. To me it is infuriating Mama is not a sideshow, she is a sweet lady who has an illness that cannot be helped. I feel like grown up people should have enough sense to know that laughing at some of the things she says is disrespectful....now granted sometimes she can come out with some zingers and she will laugh so I think she is trying to be funny....and that is a little different...but it is hurtful to me when folks mock her or parrot some of her comments as if it is some sort of comedy routine....does anyone else have this occur? I don't want to be a revolving "b" but I am not going to let folks disrespect her anymore than I would allow someone to bully a child....I'm tired, maybe I'm just over sensitive on the topic..... commentary is welcome...

myfavoriteplace · Accepted Answer

You are not being overly sensitive. They are being insensitive and I would definitely have a talk with the parents on this.
Corporal punishment is out of style and is against the law ... to OP who posted this statement. There are other ways to modify behavior ... far better ways.

anonymous158299 · Answer

family is planning a 91 st birthday cookout with edna tomorrow evening. i dont think the ability to plan anything exists with them all combined , nor do i think they understand how much edna has declined in stamina in the last couple of months. i dont have much confidence in the overall outcome of the party and im supposed to be staying away from stress so i dont plan to attend . id prefer to just remain the guy with the beard who brings rice and apples in the mornings and prepares the meds .
cant do the picnic. karoake was made mention of . i dont know what that is but if it involves somebody singing to me it means a size 12 boot down the throat at the second stanza ..

anonymous158299 · Answer

one isnt born understanding that dementia amounts to a dying brain and is a terminal condition and many people wouldnt believe you if you explained it to them . they think theyre just making a little fun " with " grandma at her goofyness / senility . i dont think your being over sensitive at all but i think trying to correct these dolts would be wasted energy . i think you should just focus on your more somber responsibilities to your mom and maintain the special trusting relationship that exists between the two of you and is indeed her very lifeline .
i have a reason for stating this . aunt edna had a fall a couple of days ago , a few family members came to calm her down and i remained kind of in the background out of respect for her closer family members and their special relationships with edna . after an hour or so outside edna decided to go back to her apartment and as we all walked to the elevator she grabbed my hand and squeezed it harder than id expected and didnt let go for a good long distance . wordlessly , she was saying " stay close , mr lifeline " .

littletonway · Answer

This is your home. Tell those irresponsible parents the next time their children behave this way, you will ask them all to leave immediately....no questions asked.  They can return when their family learns some manners and how to be respectful of others. Behavior like this should not be allowed under any circumstance.

3pinkroses · Answer

You are not oversensitive; it appears your mother is being disrespected in this case and it is not funny.  I would talk to the parents and tell them how you feel.  I realize some people try to lighten the mood with humor; but it is not always appreciated.   It's important to say how you feel and you have to speak up for your mother's sake.  The elderly deserve their dignity and if this is improper behavior; it is important to speak up.  If the people are not accepting of how you feel; that is unfortunate.  But you will feel better for speaking up for yourself and your mother.  Take care.

lsmiami · Answer

You are not overly sensitive, you are right on.  These kids and parents need to show respect.

hope22 · Answer

I totally agree.  What amazes me is sometimes their parents are standing right there...and they are doing the same thing....unbelievable....

pamstegma · Answer

A trip to the woodshed is in order.  Take them aside and try very calmly to explain the Facts of Life and Death to them. Assure them that if they do it again you will not be happy and very hurt and corporal punishment has not gone out of style.

Visitors who don't seem to understand what we are really dealing with.

8 Comments

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions

Ask a Question