So you tried to help and nothing's worked.

Hi Kazzaa... We are going through the same kind of gut-wrenching experience. It really does a number on your heart and head... and, then after trying so many things throughout the 'years' it starts to wear you down (to say the least). On top of all that... I'm the one that feels 'guilty' that I'm not doing enough or the right way... It's changed the person I used to be and I'm not sure who I'll (really) be in the future... Thank you and everyone for helping keep/save our sanity on this site... God Bless us all.

No choice involved, your husband and your own family should always come first and that includes your own health and happiness. We can make sure our parents are cared for but there is just a boundary that has to exist for our own good.

If Dad is a danger on the road (to himself or others) the car gets disabled/sold and the keys disappear. You can't make him do as his doctor wants but you sure can keep him from being on the road. Good luck!

My dad is 89 with COPD and won't use oxygen. Dr said his oxygen level falls to 80 when walking. He has trouble breathing but won't take the oxygen. I feel I can't go anywhere for an extended length of time; just to get away. He still drives and I worried he will get in an accident. He is always angry and unreasonable....always has been. My marriage is on edge. My husband is sick of this. How do you chose between them?

My daughter died June 8th. She kept a plaque near her bed that said "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."

at the risk of saying something absurd -- you stick with the elder for the peace of mind that you will eventually obtain . our parents came from the middle ages where instant information and openmindedness are concerned . its no wonder they push us right to the edge with their self centered , creature of habit , mindset .
many people just smugly exist . self improvement is not in their vocabulary ..
its rather maddening ..

I know how you feel i am avoiding mum these last few days as shes so nasty. I am lost as to what to do next my head is saying NH my heart is saying no stick it out she may not be here for much longer then my head kicks in again and says but what if she is like this for years? Im not depressed im just miserable and try so hard to see an upside? I just imagine her gone then panic kicks in? I wake up everyday and pray something good will happen then groundhog day again! Chin up we are all feeling the same way here! One day we will have peace and can move on from this!