Obtaining MPOA for Aunt Edna.

i just received a very civil email from pia . i told her about the used hearing aid and my hopes to bring ednas wheelchair home and modify it so her feet sit flat on the floor as good ergonomics require . i also told her if shes the one prohibiting us from taking our short rides i wish shed please reconsider . those rides are a really good time for edna and myself both . pia and both her sons have went berserk on me on three seperate occasions . all three times i smiled it off and told them that tensions just run high at a time like this . my preference here would be to just wear them down until they stop seeing me as an intruder and enemy . it could happen . thats the most cooperation and civility ive seen out of pia in over a year . i dont talk badly about them and ednas roommate has no doubt told them that . im now an elder in the family and if i play it carefully they will learn to respect and appreciate me instead of seeing me as an adversary . the grandson who offered to stomp my guts out came to the hospital a week later when edna had taken a fall and i offered him fuel money if he needed it . im not their enemy and maybe theyre figuring that out .

ednas comprehension and wisdom are intact . if i can resolve the deafness with the used hearing aid edna and i might become a force to reckon with . her and i communicate fine with gestures , smiles , touching , but something this intricate requires strong dialogue .

Is that hard to do? Is it just a form to fill out? Can you do it instead of the five wishes? I'm sure you'll nail this.

great . im in one of only 8 states that requires a statutory document to accompany the five wishes advance directive form .

i agree jeanne . a great second step . my first steps have been advocating for edna to staff and in a very respectful manner and approaching it as a learning experience for myself . ( never questioning them ) .
and pam . giving up isnt in my vocabulary . giving a long term strategy time to unfold is my MO .

The hipaa form I've seen/used only allows the doctor to share information -- it does not allow the named people to make decisions. But it is a great first step. There are several different forms readily available for assigning a health care decision-maker. One is called "five wishes." I'd be surprised if the NH doesn't have some forms, or you could probably pick one up at a clinic or hospital. It is a very good step for you to take, Captain.

Go for it Cap'n. And don't give up. Let PIA be the POA for financial, because that's who the IRS and Medicaid go after for the money. You just take care of your sidekick.

ill get a copy of the form and present it to nh . i missed my opportunity a long time ago when i took edna to ER for pneumonia . doc asked then if edna wanted to appoint someone besides daughter and i let the chance slide . pia neglect of edna is documented back several years by aps . yea pam . the hipaa form is a first bold step . it should get me into the nh meetings .

Make them aware of the form on file with the Doc and get the doc to fax them a copy, that is a Health Care Proxy aka MPOA.

i have a signed hipaa on file with family doc . maybe that would at least get me access to the family / staff meetings .

ive been reading about it a bit pam . of course you get many conflicting answers on the web . some info even claimed attorneys avoid doing legal documents after dementia diagnosis . its obvious to staff that pia isnt a good choice for medical advocacy . top nurse in the place confided in me the other day that they had suggested the dementia wing for edna because its more homey and less external stimulation than general population offers . pia refused without even taking a tour of said wing . they all share ednas info with me readily and realize that im the one keeping a keen eye on her wellbeing and comfort . i have many allies in the nh but none of us want a s*itstorm with pia . edna told me only today , shyly and sadly that she just wished she could go with me to get her a pepsi . its fn heartbreaking .

Cap, the NH should have health care proxy forms, Edna can sign one and the nurses there can witness it. DPOA form are at any office supply store like Office Max or Office Depot.

pia cant afford to have edna deemed incompetant . that requires a judge . pia cant afford that .