Splitting in two.

Question

I have recently moved myself and my 4 year old daughter an hour away from my home 2 stay with my 82 year old uncle who has cogestive heart failure among other things. I am away from hubby except on weekends and I never imagined this would be so hard. I feel guilty about being there, and guilty when I am away, but my anxiety and depression are getting tge best of me I just don't.think I can continue. He has caregivers that come in 2x per day I am there for company and piece of mind for him but I am loosing my mind, life, and happiness am I a horrible person to tell him I have to get back to work and continue with my life?

freqflyer · Accepted Answer

Pullinghair, you made a very wise decision.

pullinghair · Answer

Thanks to you all for your input.  I really do agree that my husband and child are my #1, always have been and always will be.  I did have a talk with him today, he is going to be upset but he will be taken care of and I am at peace that my decision is to not split my family up because i do agree that they shouldn't all be hurt.  I feel like a huge weight has been lifted so I am here for another couole weeks then everything will be back to normal.

anonymous158299 · Answer

im not married anymore but the years that i was i wouldnt have divided my family for any reason . i left a good paying highway infrastructure job once because there was an upcoming gig 120 miles from home where id have been seperated from wife and kids 6 days a week . na . the family relationship meant more than the good money . i was the educator for the boys in our home and took it just as seriously as some of their halfassed teachers , maybe moreso .

JessieBelle · Answer

pullinghair, it is very nice what you've done for your uncle, but there are three other people to consider here. If your uncle needs someone with him all the time, it is a good time to consider either assisted living or a nursing facility. I agree with what freqflyer and Pam wrote. You don't want to hurt 3 people so that your uncle can remain in his home. That wouldn't be right. You'll feel guilty, but chances are that he'll be happier after he gets used to his new surroundings. Maybe the best gift you can give him is finding him a good place that meets all of his needs and his budget.

pamstegma · Answer

Uncle should move to Assisted Living or a Nursing Home.   You did what you could, but your husband and child are your #1 responsibility.

freqflyer · Answer

Time to tell your Uncle that you have to go back home as your 4 year old daughter misses her Daddy. That she cries herself to sleep at night when she is away from him, plus she misses her playmates back home. If that doesn't tug at your Uncle's heart, nothing will. Then you can add that you will come and visit with him on the weekends.

Otherwise, you could spend 5-10 more years living at your Uncle's house. That isn't fair to you, your husband, or your daughter.

Splitting in two.

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