Changing doctors due to inappropriate behavior.

Question

Mom is 85 and I am responsible for scheduling and transporting her to all appointments. We stopped going to a very nice doctor because of issues with his staff..wrong insurance info sent to referrals, sloppily dressed staff, "Honey, Sweetie,Dear" after being asked to use her name please...new doctor is a geriatric medicine specialist, his reviews were ok, he was close and I thought that he would be respectful to patients of Mom's age..... he is pompous, verbally insulted one of her other doctors(a neurologist and his colleague) and gives out insulting handouts implying that ALL sedentary lifestyles are due to laziness....snapped at me when I told him we did not fill his prescription for a narcotic for pain because I was afraid of the side effects,so I filled it resulting in awful side effects for Mom for a week till I discontinued it....is this the status quo now for primarys or have I been unlucky? Mom has excellent insurance and can change, but I hate to keep expecting her to change doctors. It is very disheartening to her that professionalism seems to be vanishing.

Francis · Accepted Answer

FreqFlyer - No, this comes from the Maryland mag. I was only offering an option for searching, it's great that you have found Doctors that you are happy with and you feel are the best for you and the ones you are helping to take care of.

freqflyer · Answer

Maybe it is location.... here in my area all of the doctors [I have many due to various health conditions for myself] and all of my parents doctors have been outstanding, great bedside manner, no unnecessary testing, etc.

Only once have we needed to change doctors, my parents geriatric doctor I thought was excellent but my parents didn't like her because she was a woman, my parents are from the very old school where men were the doctors and women weren't.. [sigh]. This doctor must had been doing something right because my parents are 93 and 97 and in good health for their age.

Francis, are you referring to the Washingtonian magazine where once a year they print out "Top Docs"? Rarely do I see many of my own doctors or my parents doctor in those issues... makes me wonder how they decide who is top and who isn't.

anonymous158299 · Answer

we had a bone surgeon in our town who was a fit throwing jerk but nearly 30 yrs after he fixed my busted leg im beginning to understand why . he was / is a genius and he was working around a bunch of dull eyed lackeys . he held himself to an incredibly high standard and had no patience with those who didnt .
he actually read the hepc in my blood 10 yrs before non a , non b hepatitis was even thought of .

Francis · Answer

We encountered a few neuro's that definately lacked the "bedside manner" I don't know what it is with some of them, I guess they just don't know how to relate to us mere humans or something. And to be honest, because of their personalities, we kept searching for a "better answer". Unfortunately we didn't get one. Here in MD they publish every year a "Top Docs" magazine, maybe there is one similar where you live and can find a good Geriatric Doc thru those referrals. This disease is so complex and it seems that most Docs don't want to deal with it ... maybe I'm wrong. A lot of the attempts at meds are hit and miss and you'll need patience to try them. I was hesitant too on trying out new meds but eventually decided that we're going to need to try them and if she exhibits severe side effects, we'll remove her from the drug. But I hear you, I hate it also that all they know is to throw drugs at the situation, darts in the dark. Ask around, find someone you are comfortable with and is current with info, etc.

Sherridene · Answer

We are also having the same problem with moms doctors. Mom changed doctors because her previous one was ordering a ridiculous amount of unnecessary tests and even charged her insurance for a brain scan that she never had. Her current doctor is not much better. I took her for a follow up visit After she got out of the hospital for a severe copd flare up that put her in respiratory arrest and the doctor didn't even examine her. They just talked about how bad the hospital food was!  I understand there isn't much else the doctor can do for mom but at least examine her when she comes to see you. Do your job. Earn your paycheck.

pamstegma · Answer

Doctors are disappearing. Now you see NP's PA's and maybe the janitor. You say keep changing? How often does this happen? If you have made multiple changes because none of them can fix mom, it's a sure sign of denial.
If you have no intentions of using a prescription, tell them immediately, ask for other options. If you are aware of her sensitivity to opiods, tell them up front.
Walking out and ignoring the Rx seems, well, a bit shortsighted.

Changing doctors due to inappropriate behavior.

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