This isn't really my problem but it doesn't help my parents ability to accept their limitations. My parents live in independent living (which they would not be able to handle at all without my very close supervision).
Their neighbor has been complaining about how much she hates it there and wants to move back to her hometown ever since she got there last summer. She has several adult children and grandchildren close by and she has several medical issues in addition to some slight memory issues (that I noticed anyway)
Well.. she managed to BUY a house in her hometown... and is moving back this week. No children live there and it is about a 3 hour drive for her children. OMG..... I am just now trying to get my parents to accept where they are .. now they are thinking.. hmmm.. if she can do it.. why not us?
My mom said her children should help her so that she can be happy!! She is certainly not seeing this from her children's perspective.
I feel so sorry for her children.. I have seen that they are extremely unhappy with this turn of events. They had her set up in a nice independent living environment close by them.. and even sold her old house. So she was already downsized.
I guess there is really nothing they can do to control this.. I do not see this ending well. Again.. not my problem but I have to deal with the residual fall out with my parents.
OMG... WHAT A NIGHTMARE!!
My parents are at a point where there is no way they could live independ in a house..they are a full time job for me in an apartment as it is. They really should be thankful for the independence that they do have..of course that isnt always the case.
Unfortunately I am still enabling them to bypass hiring a caregiver...my Mom sulks like a child when I even begin to bring it up. Its so hard for me to stop enabling them so much..i guess I have guilt about having them leave there home in the first place. I know i need to draw the line with them and set some boundaries.
My parents are in their mid-90's and are still in their home. Every day I have to say to myself "it's their choice, they have to live with the responsibility of their choice".
My parents are struggling physically with trying to keep up the maintenance and cleaning of their home, and I am just a bystander watching.... I help when it is within reason, but I refuse to keep enabling them to stay in that huge house. Now if I could find a way to keep Dad from climbing ladders to fix things :P
ADVERTISEMENT
I have noticed that her children have stopped comming by since she decided to move. I hope she doesnt try to suck me into helping her..she is trying to be extra friendly to me and my parents...ugh..
The minute my mother's "independence" started taking a toll on my mental and physical health, we moved her to independent living. She's now in a nursing home, and let me tell you, it's still lots of work. If your elder is not willing to cooperate, I don't understand all the "catering to" that folks do.
Katie, good luck with your parents wanting to follow their neighbor back to the wonderful world of home ownership.... drop hints like "well your neighbor will once again have to pay for property taxes, homeowners insurance, mortgage payments, worry about the roof, worry about the lawn, lack of transportation, etc.